Wordless Wednesday

You hid the ball behind your back, didn't you?

Jedi always makes me laugh. Want to know what else makes me laugh? Wordless Wednesdays! Check out the other posts in this hop and see what I mean. -- K

The REAL "9 Reasons Not to Get a Pet"

NOT an accurate portrayal of my job

WARNING: Rant

Here in my small beach town being a damn good animal control officer just isn't enough. The job description includes "other duties as assigned" and my boss uses that to his full advantage. I am a State certified crossing guard, departmental "go for," catamaran counter, admin assistant, wannabe paralegal, webmaster and the Queen of Special Projects. I've even dressed up as a prostitute to do undercover vice stings -- don't ask, it was not pretty. The latest wild hair includes PR specialist and journalist. (And you thought I was just a dog catcher, huh?) I am now required to find and participate in community outreach events and write articles for the paper. If I do a good job my boss gets a feather in his cap (and all the credit of course); if I do a bad job I take all the blame and get a black mark on my annual eval that jeopardizes my chances for a raise. It's enough to make a girl a little bitter.

Several months ago -- in between dangerous dog cases, neighbor versus neighbor disputes, monthly stats, revising ordinances, and dogs running-at-large on the beach -- I was told to write another article for the paper. I decided to recycle something I had posted on my blog a year previously since only about five of you were reading it at the time (original post here). Its a good post, and I put a lot of thought into it. Yesterday I was told that it was submitted to the paper but the sergeant had tweaked it because it was too "harsh" and "aggressive." My use of the phrase "do not" was too "negative." (Obviously sarcasm isn't taught at the police academy.) I smiled and said okay like a good little minion, but inside my head I was screaming "Then write your own F***ing articles and I'll go do animal control stuff!"

Not an accurate photo of me
(but much cuter than the faux ho thing)

I probably shouldn't be too upset since they're not going to give me the byline anyway. And to be fair, I haven't seen the article with the changes; maybe it's not as bad as the last time. (And maybe I'll win the lottery. Oops, there's that sarcasm again.) Still, I'm annoyed. What if people read that censored piece of crap and assume its mine? They'll think I really am "just a stupid dog catcher." sigh. On the off chance that anyone cares, here is the original article in my true voice. Enjoy.

P.S. I am writing this on my phone while sitting in a park handing out Animal Control brochures and answering stupid questions. It's 85 degrees with 90 percent humidity. I'm sweating and I'm miserable. But I'm smiling! Yes, I'm a good little minion.

9 Reasons Not to Get a Pet

Summer is around the corner. It seems that more people add pets to their family this time of year than any other. Before you make that decision, however, here are nine good reasons not to get a pet.

• Pets are expensive. DO NOT get one if you cannot afford to care for it. This includes food, supplies, vaccinations and regular vet care. It may also include pet deposits and municipal licenses.
• Pets are time consuming. DO NOT get one if you are not able to spend time with it. Does your work schedule allow for quality time with an animal? If you would rather spend your off time partying with your friends and going away for the weekend please get a plant instead.
• Pets are a long term commitment. DO NOT get one if you are unable or unwilling to spend 10+ years with the animal. Puppies and kittens lose their cuteness quickly. Are you willing to go through adolescence and geriatrics as well? Are you willing to care for a pet when your circumstances change -- i.e. a new job, relationship, or baby?
• Pets are social creatures. DO NOT get one if you are only going to tie it up, throw it outside or leave it in a cage all day. This is just plain cruel.
• Pets are annoying. DO NOT get one if you are not willing to train and socialize it. A bored animal will bark, howl, dig, chew, jump, poop, spray and irritate the neighbors.
• Pets are stinky. DO NOT get one if you do not want to pick up poop or clean litter boxes.
• Pets are promiscuous. DO NOT get one if you can't get it fixed, else it will be making and having babies as often as possible. An intact animal may also be more aggressive and exhibit annoying hormone-related behaviors. Cats will yowl, fight and spray, whereas dogs will jump fences and pee on everything. 
• Pets are a liability. DO NOT get one if you are not in a stable living situation. Not all landlords, homeowners associations or insurance companies will accept your pets, especially if they're pit bulls or exotics. This limits your choices should you have to move.
• Pets are a big responsibility. DO NOT get one if you are not willing to take care of it -- not your child, parent, spouse or roommate. If you don't personally have the time, energy or desire to take on the responsibility of caring for another living being, please put off getting a pet for now. You can always revisit the issue when your circumstances change.

If these warnings haven't swayed you, then hopefully you'll enter into pet ownership with your eyes wide open. Pets can be a wonderful addition to your life, bringing joy, merriment and unconditional love. When adding a pet to your family, please consider a shelter animal. Too many of them were previously owned by someone oblivious to the information above.

Wordless Wednesday

Let sleeping dogs lie -- no matter how uncomfortable it looks!

Take a look at the other pages in this hop and try not to giggle. I dare you! -- K

One for the Good Guys

Back in January I told you about the Piece of Shit from the next county over who slit his dog's throat and left her in the woods to die. First off, the dog, Amber, is doing fine. She was adopted by Dan Sorrell, the St. John's County deputy that found her. Apparently they are very happy (see left).

This month P.O.S. was sentenced to 364 days in the county jail, 5 years of probation after release, 100 hours community service, no contact with animals, and mandatory counseling while on probation. He was also slapped with a $2500 fine and may not live in a home where animals are kept.

I can hear my non-ACO friends yelling now. “That’s it? ONE year?!” And trust me, I agree with you. On the other hand, I can hear my ACO friends cheering because we have seen many a P.O.S. like this walk away with nothing. Yes nothing. And countless more cases have been ditched before even making it to court. Unfortunately "animal cases" aren't always taken seriously. Things are changing, but not as quickly as many of us would like. What can you do to help?

•  Review your city’s animal control ordinances. Most can be found online from your city’s official web page. Some are better than others. While you're at it, review the ordinances of the next town over. If you think your city's laws could be better, speak up! City Council meetings are open to the public. Local newspapers are always looking for letters to the editor.

• Check out your state’s anti-cruelty laws. The ASPCA has made it easy for you right here, just scroll down to your state. The Humane Society of the United States also has a legislation department here and it reviews both state and federal laws. WARNING: Every organization – ASPCA, HSUS, PeTA, AKC, etc. – has their own beliefs (agenda?) which may or may not agree with yours. Chances are each one of them is going to make perfect sense or seem downright extreme at one time or another. It is imperative that you carefully consider everything before joining in. Caveat emptor. 

• Write letters to your elected officials. Tell them how you feel. Respectfully tell them that you are one of their constituents, this particular issue is important to you and you would like to know where they stand.

• Vote. If you don’t vote then you have no right to complain if things don’t go the way you want .   

And keep logging on. I’ll tell you what I think and why I think that way. And if you don’t agree, I will gladly listen to your point of view. (Unless you're a jerk, then I'll just block you.) Deal? -- K

Bark Box #5

 

 

 

Yesterday was Bark Box delivery day, and Jedi was very excited. I think he's figured out that the Bark Box means toys and treats are coming his way.

 

His favorite thing from this month's box is the shark for Aussie Naturals. About a foot long and stuffing free, this is ball and rope toy wrapped in Neoprene. Apparently this toy does it all. You can fling it, it floats and even has a pair of squeakers inside. If it ever stops raining we'll take it to the beach and test it out. Right now Jedi is licking it and chewing on it's head with a weird look on his face. I guess the texture feels different from his other toys. We'll have to see how long it holds Jedi's attention. (Funny thing, he's still carrying around the shin bone from Bark Box #3.)

 

There was a packet of Ice Pups from The Honest Kitchen. It's a grain-free broth mix that can be served hot or cold. I mixed it with warm water and froze it in Jedi's Kong Ice Mold for later. There was a little mix leftover and I poured it on the dogs' breakfast. Picky Roxy lapped it up with gusto and then pushed Jedi out of the way to lick his bowl too.

 

There was a bag of freeze-dried Liver Munchies from Primal Pet Food, Inc. I thought the ingredient list was simple enough: Turkey Liver. That's it -- no grains, no salt, no sugar, no preservatives. Also, it's from turkeys raised in the USA with no added antibiotics or hormones. Sounds safe! The bag said it was designed for both dogs and cats. Jedi ate it (remember, he eats everything) but neither Roxy nor Gucci were interested in the treats. Jedi ate their portions as well.

 

Also enclosed was a bag of Natural Duck Strips from Plato Pets. It's made of duck and brown rice. Again, Jedi ate it but didn't seem enthusiastic. He'd just as soon eat Pup-peroni. He goes crazy for the cheap, crappy junk food. I totally understand! Surprisingly, Roxy loved it!

 

Something in the box I thought was odd: Bully Flakes from Barkworthies. This is a ground bully stick food topper. And it stinks just as bad as bully sticks! The dogs ate it but I gagged opening the bag -- and remembered why I don't buy bully sticks!

 

The last thing in the box was an ad for Strut Your Mutt. This is a nationwide fund-raising walk for Best Friends Animal Society. I'm not sure how I feel about that organization. I'll share once I can better articulate my thoughts.

 

So there you go, the August Bark Box! Remember, if you want one of your own, click here. -- K

 

 

Wanna Be An ACO?

My new partner quit less than a year after she was hired. Once again I am the sole animal control officer in my tiny beach town. I have no idea how long it will take to find a second ACO. It took 9 months to find her! Thinking about applying? Here are a few tips:

• Don't apply if you want to make money. Seriously! Most ACOs I know have second jobs, drive old cars and live in tiny houses (with lots of animals). I've been doing this 8+ years and make less than $30K/yr.
• Don't apply if you "love animals but hate people." For every animal I encounter I talk to at least five people -- owners, potential adopters, complainants, nosy neighbors, concerned citizens, bite victims, crazy cat ladies, park rangers, police officers, lawyers, local politicians, veterinarians, rescue group coordinators, etc.
• Don't apply if you want to be liked. Two thirds of the people above will not like you. 
• Do not apply if you "want to be a voice for the animals." If that's what you want, join a rescue group. Don't get me wrong, I work very hard to make sure that all animals in my jurisdiction are treated humanely but ACOs work for the City. Our job is to enforce ordinances and keep the peace. Fostering newborn kittens and rehabilitating dogs is left to other, more qualified organizations. (Or you do it on your off time -- but that's a whole other story . . . .)
• Do not apply if you are a germaphobe. I carry a card in my wallet listing all the zoonotic diseases I may be exposed to. And with this job you will get dirty -- really dirty. And you will get bitten. And contract fleas.
• Do not apply if you are "sensitive." Some days this job sucks. Animals die, and all too often I'm the one who kills them (either directly or indirectly). Sometimes the law isn't fair, and I have to declare a little old lady's dog dangerous, knowing that the retirement home is going to make her get rid of her only friend. Sometimes I have to watch an asshole "get away with it" because he has a lawyer (or is a lawyer and plays golf with the judge). Yes, I cry. And scream in frustration. A lot. But then I put on my big girl panties and soldier on.

Catch of the Day

Sometimes I get really frustrated and think: I'd like a job where I made more money. Or maybe a job where I can use my college degree. And I would really like a job where people say things like "Thank You" and "You're Great" instead of  "Fuck you, you fat bitch." (Yes, people actually say that, though sometimes they substitute "stupid" for "fat.")

So why do I do this job? Maybe because I'm a little nutty or perhaps a tad passive-aggressive. I like to be outside instead of tied to a desk all day. I like having several different things going on at once. I would probably go crazy if I did the same thing all day, every day. To my surprise, I actually like people (in small doses). And it's fun to post pictures on Facebook of an alligator in a cage with captions like "Look what I did at work today." I don't mind being dirty and have learned to tolerate nosy neighbors, politicians and crazy cat ladies. And some of them I actually consider friends. Most of all, I like to think that what I do makes a difference. So until the super-awesome, better paying, less confrontational job comes along, I'll keep doing this. And I'll keep posting crazy stories. Deal? -- K

Wordless Wednesday

So tell me about your day . . . .

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is a blog hop. Check out the other bloggers as well. It'll brighten your Hump Day!