Show Dogs

WARNING: Talking about Hollywood usually turns into a rant. How can an industry with so many resources get things so incredibly wrong? And why do we continue to support garbage?

I saw Show Dogs available at Redbox and was curious. There was a lot of controversy tied to the movie when it came out.

The AKC released a statement stating that:

The movie is not an accurate depiction of our sport or its participants . . . Additionally, the movie and its website improperly and inaccurately messages to audiences that the breeds depicted in the movie can be easily found in local animal shelters as a push to encourage adoption.

Too bad. This would have been a great opportunity to discuss things like purposeful breeding, breed standards and responsible breeders versus backyard breeders.

At the same time, parent groups were claiming that multiple scenes from the movie were grooming children for sexual abuse. What?! Complaints were over scenes that comically depicted the physical inspection of a male dog. (The scenes have since been deleted. Click here to see them for yourself.) Says USA Today:

Although this is standard at a dog show, parents' problem was with the way Max was told to deal with the uncomfortable handling.

After reading this I had to see the movie. Was it really as bad as critics claimed? I watched this movie with pen an paper in hand so I could share the good stuff (bad stuff?) with you.

The Plot: Max, a Rottweiler working for the NYPD, teams up with FBI Agent Nichols to stop an animal smuggling operation. To do so, Max goes undercover as a show dog in Las Vegas. Snide and condescending remarks are made about dog shows and all who participate in them. In the end, Max gains a new respect for show dogs. Think Miss Congeniality meets Air Bud.

Within the first four minutes I noticed two things about the Rottweiler that ruin the story right from the start:

1. The dog is neutered. Show dogs must be intact. The entire purpose of dogs shows is to judge breeding stock. To put it simply, a dog without testicles cannot breed. (FYI: This is the reason for the physical exam critics were complaining about.)
2. The dog has a tail. In fact, all the Rottweilers have tails. This is a disqualification according to the AKC breed standard.

Labrador Retrievers -- the most popular breed of dog

in the U.S. for the past 27 years

The movie touched on owner versus handler (albeit poorly and prejudicially). It also explained that there are "three rounds" (though that's not what they're actually called): Best of Breed → Best of Group → Best in Show. The writers, however, don't seem to understand the seven AKC Groups. When it came to the Best in Show scene, there were two dogs representing the toy group and no dog from the sporting group. Seriously? They couldn't find a retriever or spaniel anywhere? Also, the Herding Group consisted of three Australian shepherds and a border collie -- never mind the other 28 breeds in the group.

Sadly, the scene where the agent dares the smuggler to shoot him was very true. Nichols says "The justice system rarely does anything to people who harm animals; but shoot a Fed and you're gonna get what you deserve." I shared my feelings about this topic in earlier posts.

Honestly, most of what the writers/producers got wrong could have been fixed with an hour of fact checking via Google and YouTube. These include:

• Ribbon colors -- AKC has specific colors for different placements. (A 30 second Google search leads you to A Beginner's Guide to Dog Shows which would have helped this story immensely!)
• Ring procedures -- counterclockwise circles, no cat walk
• There is no agility round in a dog show -- agility and conformation are two separate sports
• Doberman Pinschers have cropped ears and docked tails in AKC shows as well 

Finally, animal control officers -- my peeps! -- are portrayed as heartless, inept buffoons. Yet again.

F.U. Hollywood!!

Funny aside: There's a weird guy with an ugly made-up designer dog. He approached Agent Nichols and wanted to breed his dog with Max. (I guess weird guy didn't notice that Max was neutered.) When Nichols said no, weird guy and dog both turned around and walked off in a huff -- revealing that the dog was actually an intact male! Be honest, am I the only one who notices dog balls? BTW, the "designer dog" was actually a purebred Xoloitzcuintli.

My honest opinion: The plot is banal and the humor crass. This movie is a 90 minute time suck. However, Show Dogs is no worse than most of the crap that Hollywood is producing for children these days. If you must watch a movie with a talking animal, I suggest Babe. -- K

Isle of Dogs

I posted a review for Alpha and my mom asked if I'd seen Isle of Dogs.

I was a little confused because Isle of Dogs is a high-end dog grooming product line. Of course I've seen it. I even told a funny story about buying it at the Eukanuba Dog Show. But how did Mom know? She never goes to the dog shows . . .

But wait! There's a movie by the same title. And it's available at Redbox! I rented it and my official opinion is:

Just. Too. Weird.

• First off, it's stop-motion animation. This was difficult for me to watch. The jerky movements gave me Davey and Goliath flashbacks.
• The movie is written, directed and produced by Wes Anderson -- and he is not my cup of tea. (I tried to watch two Wes Anderson movies in the past: Moonrise Kingdom and The Royal Tenenbaums. I ended up changing the channel within the first 30 minutes of each.)
• This is most definitely a Japanese film. The cadence of the storyline is different, but I've seen enough Manga films (thanks to Son #1) that I was able to follow along. Still, it's weird.

The movie is dubbed (thankfully!) with the dogs speaking English and most of the humans speaking Japanese. It sounds strange. It IS strange, but it works. The dogs are voiced by some very famous actors. For fun, try to guess who is who before looking it up on Internet Movie Database.

The story is OK and the ending is predictable. However, you'll need to pay attention -- it's easy to get lost. I had to stop and rewind several times. Hubby got frustrated and just fell asleep.

My honest opinion: If you expect nothing and have a glass (or two) of wine beforehand, this movie could be worth the $1.75 on Redbox. If you're a Wes Anderson fan, you will probably really enjoy it. -- K

Alpha -- The Movie

Hubby, RK and I went to the movie theater Friday night. We saw Alpha. Internet Movie Database (IMDb) describes the movie like this:

In the prehistoric past, a young man struggles to return home after being separated from his tribe during a buffalo hunt and finds a similarly lost wolf companion to start a friendship that would change humanity.

So you KNOW I had to see it! But ticket prices are ridiculous these days. I hate spending that much money on an unknown movie. What if it stinks?! (Hooray for Redbox!) I'm going to give you my honest opinion -- good, bad and ugly -- and you can decide if you want to see this one.

The Good:

• The cinematography is breathtaking. That alone was worth seeing it on the big screen.
• The emotions feel real -- fear, angst, love, loss. Too often emotions fall flat for me, especially in dog movies.
• The story is predictable but still entertaining.
• The film's cadence isn't traditional Hollywood style, which I found refreshing.

The Bad:

• It's all subtitles. Fortunately, there's not a lot of dialog and the emoting is good enough that non-readers could probably get the gist.
• Some scenes are intense and may be too scary for young children.
• The trailer spoils the "twist" at the end!

The Ugly:

• The language is obviously made up, so why the subtitles?
• Realistically, the protagonist would have died from hypothermia a half dozen times. Kids, don't try this at home.
• A real wolf -- or even my German shepherd -- would have bitten the main character. Often. And hard.

← I have this shirt and I wore it to the movie. Without giving too much away, I was not disappointed. *hint, hint* I bought my tickets a week out so I had great seats. (This theater has assigned seating.) I enjoyed the movie, but would have liked it better at matinee prices.

WARNING, SOAP BOX TIME: I'm glad I went opening weekend if for no other reason than to send a message to Hollywood that this is the kind of movie I want to see produced. Sadly, money talks. And I'm so turned off by most of what's out there. Now that I think about it, Alpha is the first non Harry Potter, Star Wars or Marvel superhero movie I've seen in the theater since The Martian three years. (BTW, that was an excellent movie.)

Anyway, whether you go to the theater or wait for Redbox, Alpha is worth seeing. Later, -- K

More Movie Reviews

It’s been a while since I reviewed movies. There are a couple reasons for that:

• Most of the movies I watch don’t involve dogs, so they’re not appropriate for a dog blog and
• Most dog-related movies stink.

That being said, here are three dog-related movies that I’ve seen lately.

A Dog’s Purpose. I almost didn’t see this movie. Three weeks before the film opened TMZ aired secret video of a German shepherd supposedly being forced into the water during filming. Do you remember the controversy? Several days later it was discovered that the heavily edited video was an animal rights stunt. The Hollywood Reporter has a good breakdown of events in case you’re interested. The story is about a dog who lives, die, and is reincarnated (multiple times!) into another dog. Each time the dog is trying to figure out his purpose. The story is told from the dog's point of view.
My opinion: I’d give the film a resounding “Not bad.” I really like Josh Gad (the voice of the dogs). However, I'm not a big fan of reincarnation stories. If you're interested in this story, I think the book was better than the movie. (I talked about the book here.)

The Dog Lover. This one piqued my interest before it came out. It was supposed to have a limited theatre release and I had planned to go. However, the movie was silently pulled. I actually bought the DVD so I could see the movie. The story is about a woman from an animal rights group who takes a job at a large kennel with the mission of finding dirt on a supposed puppy mill. As time goes on she discovers that the kennel/breeder is not what she expected. Unfortunately, things go bad anyway. The plot is loosely based on the real-life case of Paul Upton and his German shepherds. The movie’s intention is to show that things aren’t as black and white as organizations like the HSUS want people to think.
My opinion: The message was good. The acting was mediocre and the production was obviously low budget. I’m super annoyed at the portrayal of animal control -- AGAIN. However, I recommend you watch the movie anyway.

Megan Leavy. The trailer for this movie was misleading. Fortunately, the actual story is richer than I expected. The movie follows a female Marine and her detection dog, Max, in the Middle East. Megan decides not to reenlist, but Max belongs to the Marines. This movie is based on a real story. Pictures of the real Megan and Max, along with a follow are shared during the credits. As a Navy veteran, a GSD owner and someone actively training in canine scent work, I found a lot to identify with. There was one scene where I yelled out "Trust your dog!" (My trainer would be proud.)
My opinion: Definitely worth watching. Have Kleenex ready. Even Hubby got teary-eyed a couple times.

And finally, did you know about the website Does the Dog Die? It’s a real thing! Type in the name of a movie and there are dozens of reviews about it. More importantly, everybody tells you up front if the dog dies or not. I have friends who won’t even watch a movie until they’ve checked the site. (I wish I had known about this before renting John Wick!)

I’m done ruining things for you. Enjoy the rest of your day! -- K

Why Kelley Can't Go To The Movies

Warning: If you haven't seen Jurassic World and/or Max and don't want any spoilers, stop reading now. However, if you want to hear me rant and nitpick then grab yourself some popcorn and enjoy!

To be honest, I'm not keen on paying $10 to see a movie at the theater. Add another $15 for popcorn and a soda and the cheapskate in me is screaming her head off! I'd rather wait 6 months to catch it on Redbox, order a pizza and watch the movie with my dogs instead. But I had the opportunity to catch a couple movies in the theater last month -- and they really pissed me off.

Those stupid heels

First up was Jurassic World. The special effects were amazing and the movie was alright, despite the lackluster ending. But there were two things that drove me nuts.

1. The stupid bimbo was running around in heels the entire movie. Who in their right mind would wear heels and a skirt on a tropical island? I wanted a T-Rex to eat her just for being stupid.
2. I had heard that the movie promoted clicker training. One of the main characters used it to train the Raptors. I'm all for promoting positive training, and it would have been cool if the guy wasn't doing it wrong! Seriously, click once when the desired behavior is given (not 20+). I've seen 6 year old children successfully master the clicker. Why couldn't an adult screenwriter figure it out? A simple five minute fact check could have properly demonstrated and promoted positive reinforcement training. Instead, it looks like a nervous guy with a ballpoint pen. click, click, click, click, click.

Max was equally frustrating -- and this is me speaking with my Animal Control Officer hat on.

That stupid, metal cage

First of all, giving a military trained Malinois to a family of inexperienced dog owners is down-right irresponsible. My Malinois-owning friends lovingly refer to the breed as "German shepherds on crack." I'm afraid that people are going to run out and buy Malinois puppies because of this movie -- it happens all the time -- and then become disenchanted when they realize that what they saw on screen is not what they brought home. (NOTE: Max was actually played by five highly trained dogs. Even that dog isn't what you think it is.) I cringe just thinking of all the adolescent Malinois that are going to be turned into animal shelters over the next couple of years because of this movie.


Simple tool, catching is the hard part

The movie makes sure you know the story takes place in Texas in July. Dad doesn't want Max in the house (jerk) so first he ties the dog outside, then he puts the dog in a metal cage not large enough for the dog to lie down and sprawl out. At no time is the dog provided with water or a shelter to protect him from summer sun. Can you say cruelty ticket?! But no. When animal control finally does show up they are portrayed as heartless and too stupid to properly work a catch pole. This is a simple tool that I've taught children how to use while at community outreach events. (Again, if a 6 year old can figure it out . . .)

I'm very disappointed that this movie -- which was designed for children! -- didn't take the opportunity to demonstrate the proper and humane care for animals. Nor did it portray animal control officers as the caring, knowledgeable professionals we strive to be. Instead, it reinforced the "dog catcher buffoon" stereotype. Thanks Hollywood!

So now that I've totally ruined these summer blockbusters, you may now return to your regularly scheduled programming. My rant is over -- for now. [Insert evil laugh here.] TTFN, -- K