Pity Party

It's been a lousy weekend for me and the dogs. I've spent the last few hours crying, swearing and questioning my decisions. Welcome to my pity party. To be honest, I debated on whether I was even going to post this.

Trooper: As you know, Trooper went to North Carolina this weekend for a bunch of shows, including the Southeast Futurity/Maturity show. We thought he was ready. We were wrong. Trooper has decided that NOW is the time to be a headstrong adolescent. Sigh. He's not having a good time and he's making sure everybody knows it. I watched him on FB live streaming and my heart dropped. Trooper's not cooperating with his handler and refusing to let the judges touch him. He was excused from one show, and dead last in the next. J-Lyn and I agreed to pull him from the last two shows. Trooper doesn't need to develop any bad habits in the ring (like thinking he can get his way by acting the fool). Nor does he need to show his ass in front of everybody at the Futurity. We feel we made the best decision under the circumstances. Unfortunately, I don't get my entry fees back.

I've already paid for four shows the first weekend of April. I'm not getting that money back either. We'll try to show him again -- maybe he'll do better with me present. If not, we'll pull him then too. Either way, I plan to stop showing him for the next 6-9 months and allow him to mature. J-Lyn suggested that we focus our energy on fun, performance sports in the interim to help build confidence and self-control -- things like Fast CAT, dock diving and barn hunt. Speaking of barn hunt . . .

Jedi: Hubby, Jedi and I spent the weekend in Deland. Our favorite trial site was offering an advanced BH workshop on Friday night. Jedi has just moved up from Open to Senior -- a big jump in both difficulty and entry prices. I was hoping the training would give us an advantage for Saturday's trials, so I forked out the workshop fee plus a hotel stay. I was wrong. Jedi did the U-shaped tunnel. I was afraid he wouldn't. But he only found 2 of the 4 rats on each run. Jedi still doesn't seem to realize there are additional hides. (And this was not addressed in the workshop. Grrr.) Hubby recorded our runs. On playback I could see that Jedi was frustrated and spent a third of our allotted search time checking out the spectators. 

My weekend

Me: I added things up. I probably shouldn't have. This weekend was a $300 disaster. So now I'm wondering: WTF am I doing? How can I fix these issues? Should I even try? I don't want to frustrate my dogs. I also don't want to waste money on frustrated dogs. Hell, I'M frustrated. I probably shouldn't make any major decisions right now. I think I'm going to lick my wounds, eat some cheesecake and take a long nap. I'll make decisions later. Until then, -- K

Fast CAT Fail

I really wanted to share pictures of
Trooper running Fast CAT.

I'm doing a lousy job of keeping everybody updated. Hope you didn't think I was dead! Here's some of what we've been doing:

A couple weeks ago, Hubby, the dogs and I drove 3 hours from Jacksonville to Tallahassee. The plan was to run the dogs in Fast CAT first thing then drive 20 minutes to compete in a Glock Sport Shooting Foundation Match. If time permitted, we'd go back to the fairgrounds to run the dogs again and look around. I was excited!

We brought two friends -- and their dogs -- with us. Neither are what you'd call “dog sports people." I thought Fast CAT would be a fun way to introduce them to the dog world. The Tallahassee shows had a bit of everything -- Fast CAT, conformation, obedience, dock diving and vendors. With an enthusiastic tour guide like me, who wouldn't fall in love with the dog world, right? Well . . . things didn't go as planned.

We got to the trial site before the gates opened. So did two dozen other people! The Fast CAT crew was behind schedule. While waiting, handlers were sharing stories and the dogs were picking up on the excitement. Finally, the gates opened. My group was about 10 people back.

The registration table was set up at the end of the track. (It's usually in the middle, away from the mechanism.) As the lure came around the end pulley, dogs would jump and bark at it. The Trial Secretary/Company Owner seemed to be annoyed by this, making him short toward everybody. Registration lines for CAT and Fast CAT (two separate courses) were side by side but unmarked. My friend got in the wrong line and was yelled at when she tried to register for Fast CAT. She had to go to the back of the line and wait another 15 minutes -- only to be yelled at again because her entry form was incomplete.

I had pre-registered 2 ½ weeks out. The angry man couldn’t find my paperwork. I showed him my check and he barked "Well, I didn't get it." I asked if I could reregister, but with the preregister price. He accused me of trying to steal money from him. (We’re talking about a $20 difference. BTW, I had $60 in my pocket, expecting to pay full price for the afternoon runs.) I asked about the check I'd already written. He said he'd tear it up "if and when" he got it. Meanwhile, he glared at my dogs, was condescending to newbies asking questions and yelled at people with money in hand. What a douche.

My invisible name tag.

When The Douche started yelling at me, I thought Hubby was going to come unglued. Yes, I'm a big girl, quite capable of holding my own. But when Hubby feels I'm being threatened he switches into must-protect-wife mode. (Apparently it's a man thing.) I told Hubby that I wasn't going to give this jerk my money and walked away. Hubby asked the guy's name and he screamed "You don't know who I am?!" (FYI his name is Dan Elkes.) I giggled. Obviously he doesn't know who *I* am. I went to the car and called my bank. I put a stop payment on the check and got the fees waived. Then I went to find the Show Chairman.

Regular readers know that I'm the former President of my German Shepherd Dog club. I’ve held nearly all possible positions in the club, including Show Secretary. I know how hard it is to put on an event and how much the club wants everything to go right. I felt like a schmuck complaining. I told Madam Chairman my tale. The entire operation was disorganized, and the guy running it was unprofessional and downright demeaning. I didn't know if this guy was having a bad day or if he's always a total jerk. Either way, he was turning people away from the show her club worked so hard to put together. I reminded her that there are multiple organizations running Fast CAT trials in Florida and urged her club to use one other than Lure Coursing Specialists. She apologized and asked me to send her an email so she could share it with the show committee at their after action meeting.

As I was leaving the Show Chairman, I ran into one of my friends. She's a police officer with 30+ years. She stated that she had been trying to resolve the dispute between Mr. Elkes and our wrong-line friend when he yelled "I own this show!" and threw her out. My cop friend also had a long conversation with the Show Chairman. It was 10 AM on Saturday morning and she was the third complaint the Chairman received. UGH.

Not to scale

I'll never trial with Lure Coursing Specialists again. I know my friends are completely turned off by the entire dog show experience. Satan himself couldn’t have chosen a worse ambassador for dog sports.

The four of us took our $280, left the show grounds and went to the range. The dogs were locked in our vehicles at the far end of the property. We left the engines running, with A/Cs and radios turned up. I pretended the silhouettes were Dan the Douche and walked away with a personal best! (I still sucked, but the score was less sucky than before.)

Since that weekend I wrote my letter to the Tallahassee Kennel Club, blasted Lure Coursing Specialists online and shared my story with everybody I know -- including you! The Florida dog community is a small. Hopefully, word will get out quickly. I'd love to see Dan Elkes and Lure Coursing Specialists out of business.

BTW, I got a letter from my bank. Two days after this Fast CAT fiasco, Dan the Douche tried to cash my check -- you know, the one he promised he would tear up. (I hope his bank charged him!) So anyway, that's the story of my worst Fast CAT experience ever. -- K

STFU!

WARNING: I feel a rant coming on!

I've been writing this post for years, but have never been able to publish it. I couldn't write for more than a minute or two without the post sounding like a Lewis Black routine. Maybe this year I can better articulate what's in my head. Maybe . . .

Like millions of other people, I watch the Westminster Kennel Club dog show on TV every year. In 2016 I was on the edge of my seat rooting for Rumor, the German shepherd. (She was beaten out by the German shorthaired pointer.) Watching Rumor take best in show in 2017 was a big thrill. I'm surprised the entire world didn't here me cheering. And then last year I was there in person. So yeah, Westminster is a big deal for me.

But as much as I love the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show, I hate the day after. There are all kinds of non dog show people putting in their two cents worth. I want to tell them all to just S.T.F.U.

First of all, yes those dogs have balls. On the large, short haired dogs (think great Danes and mastiffs) they are quite noticeable. We all see them, you don't need to point them out. And yes, the judge touched them. Because conformation dog shows were designed to judge how breeding stock conforms to the breed standard, dogs that can't breed are disqualified. So yes, the judge feels for the presence of both testicles. The dogs don't care. Most dogs are more bothered by having their mouth examined. So, get over it people, they're testicles!

I'm a member of a couple German shepherd groups on Facebook, and there's always a plethora of asinine comments on there too, most from people who own "Shepards." (I've mentioned this group before.) These people bought a $100 dog of Craigslist that kinda looks like a GSD so obviously they know everything.

One thing these "Shepard" people complain about is "slope-back dogs." First of all, it's called angulation. Read the breed standard and you'll discover that the GSD is supposed to be:

. . . well balanced, with harmonious development of the fore quarter and hindquarter. The dog is longer than tall, deep-bodied, and presents an outline of smooth curves rather than angles.

The breed standard specifically states that the withers (highest point of the back) are to be higher than and sloping into a level -- not roaching or sagging -- back.

It's important to understand the history of the German shepherd. The dog was originally bred to tend sheep. (FYI: tending refers to the dog being a living, moving barrier to move/keep livestock where the sheepherder wants the flock to be.) Says the breed standard:

A German shepherd dog is a trotting dog, and its structure has been developed to meet the requirements of its work. . . . The gait is outreaching, elastic, seemingly without effort, smooth and rhythmic, covering the maximum amount of ground with the minimum number of steps. At a walk it covers a great deal of ground, with long stride of both hind legs and forelegs. At a trot the dog covers still more ground with even longer stride, and moves powerfully but easily, with coordination and balance so that the gait appears to be the steady motion of a well-lubricated machine.

A well-built German shepherd should be able to trot alongside a flock of sheep all day. So you see, that "slope" is there for a reason -- the ability to trot properly. If you don't like it, get another breed!

Something these "Shepard" people don't understand is that the angle of slope is exaggerated when stacked (put in the show stance). The FB post to the right illustrates this point nicely.

• The top picture shows a dog in a traditional show stack BTW, most GSDs stand somewhat that way naturally. Stacking is just teaching them to put the left leg back and square up the right.


• The bottom picture is the same dog stacked the way every other dog in the AKC is shown. Pretty dramatic, isn't it?

Pine Hill German Shepherds has a well-written article about the German shepherd structure titled Why Do They Walk Like That? I highly recommend you read it.

Finally, I'm tired of people assuming my dog has hip dysplasia. (He doesn't. I have the test results to prove it.) Responsible breeders test for hip dysplasia, degenerative myelopathy and other genetic anomalies before adding a dog to their breeding program. Of course, these breeders aren't selling their puppies for $100 on Craigslist. You get what you pay for.

Funny story:

I was walking Jedi in Petsmart, minding my own business. This woman came up to me and in a very condescending tone (thanks to my day job, I know condescension) asked how I was managing my dog's hip dysplasia. WHAT?! She went on to say that she noticed his back was sloped so she assumed he had hip dysplasia.

I nicely explained that he was a structurally correct, American show line GSD. I told her that his hips were OFAed and came back good.

Then I asked her how she was managing her diabetes. She was confused. I told her that I noticed she was grossly overweight, so I assumed she was diabetic. She called me a bitch and walked away in a huff.

OK, maybe it was a mean/funny story. Perhaps I could have handled that better. I need to perfect my "Bless your heart." (Northern friends: if a Southern woman smiles and says "Bless your heart" she's calling you an idiot.)

Anyway, the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show starts tomorrow. I'll be watching. And I WILL respond to asinine comments. If you're a "Shepard" person, it would be best to just S.T.F.U. You've been warned.-- K

Show Dogs

WARNING: Talking about Hollywood usually turns into a rant. How can an industry with so many resources get things so incredibly wrong? And why do we continue to support garbage?

I saw Show Dogs available at Redbox and was curious. There was a lot of controversy tied to the movie when it came out.

The AKC released a statement stating that:

The movie is not an accurate depiction of our sport or its participants . . . Additionally, the movie and its website improperly and inaccurately messages to audiences that the breeds depicted in the movie can be easily found in local animal shelters as a push to encourage adoption.

Too bad. This would have been a great opportunity to discuss things like purposeful breeding, breed standards and responsible breeders versus backyard breeders.

At the same time, parent groups were claiming that multiple scenes from the movie were grooming children for sexual abuse. What?! Complaints were over scenes that comically depicted the physical inspection of a male dog. (The scenes have since been deleted. Click here to see them for yourself.) Says USA Today:

Although this is standard at a dog show, parents' problem was with the way Max was told to deal with the uncomfortable handling.

After reading this I had to see the movie. Was it really as bad as critics claimed? I watched this movie with pen an paper in hand so I could share the good stuff (bad stuff?) with you.

The Plot: Max, a Rottweiler working for the NYPD, teams up with FBI Agent Nichols to stop an animal smuggling operation. To do so, Max goes undercover as a show dog in Las Vegas. Snide and condescending remarks are made about dog shows and all who participate in them. In the end, Max gains a new respect for show dogs. Think Miss Congeniality meets Air Bud.

Within the first four minutes I noticed two things about the Rottweiler that ruin the story right from the start:

1. The dog is neutered. Show dogs must be intact. The entire purpose of dogs shows is to judge breeding stock. To put it simply, a dog without testicles cannot breed. (FYI: This is the reason for the physical exam critics were complaining about.)
2. The dog has a tail. In fact, all the Rottweilers have tails. This is a disqualification according to the AKC breed standard.

Labrador Retrievers -- the most popular breed of dog

in the U.S. for the past 27 years

The movie touched on owner versus handler (albeit poorly and prejudicially). It also explained that there are "three rounds" (though that's not what they're actually called): Best of Breed → Best of Group → Best in Show. The writers, however, don't seem to understand the seven AKC Groups. When it came to the Best in Show scene, there were two dogs representing the toy group and no dog from the sporting group. Seriously? They couldn't find a retriever or spaniel anywhere? Also, the Herding Group consisted of three Australian shepherds and a border collie -- never mind the other 28 breeds in the group.

Sadly, the scene where the agent dares the smuggler to shoot him was very true. Nichols says "The justice system rarely does anything to people who harm animals; but shoot a Fed and you're gonna get what you deserve." I shared my feelings about this topic in earlier posts.

Honestly, most of what the writers/producers got wrong could have been fixed with an hour of fact checking via Google and YouTube. These include:

• Ribbon colors -- AKC has specific colors for different placements. (A 30 second Google search leads you to A Beginner's Guide to Dog Shows which would have helped this story immensely!)
• Ring procedures -- counterclockwise circles, no cat walk
• There is no agility round in a dog show -- agility and conformation are two separate sports
• Doberman Pinschers have cropped ears and docked tails in AKC shows as well 

Finally, animal control officers -- my peeps! -- are portrayed as heartless, inept buffoons. Yet again.

F.U. Hollywood!!

Funny aside: There's a weird guy with an ugly made-up designer dog. He approached Agent Nichols and wanted to breed his dog with Max. (I guess weird guy didn't notice that Max was neutered.) When Nichols said no, weird guy and dog both turned around and walked off in a huff -- revealing that the dog was actually an intact male! Be honest, am I the only one who notices dog balls? BTW, the "designer dog" was actually a purebred Xoloitzcuintli.

My honest opinion: The plot is banal and the humor crass. This movie is a 90 minute time suck. However, Show Dogs is no worse than most of the crap that Hollywood is producing for children these days. If you must watch a movie with a talking animal, I suggest Babe. -- K

Good News for Florida K9s

K9 Baron

We've had two police K9s killed in the line of duty in the past four years. It's tragic.

In October 2014, K9 Baron was drowned by the POS felon he was pursuing in a neighboring county. The bad guy was eventually found and arrested. He was sentenced to 10 years for a cocaine charge, and five for killing the dog. The sentences are being served concurrently so essentially he got a free pass on Baron's murder.

K9 Fang

Two months ago, K9 Fang was shot in the head while pursuing a 17-year-old carjacker. The good news is that this POS will be tried as an adult. The bad news is that the sentence he gets for armed robbery will undoubtedly overshadow whatever he gets for murdering Fang.

Why? Because Florida law says that killing a police dog is only a 3rd degree felony, carrying a maximum sentence of 5 years in prison. FIVE. STINKING. YEARS. I've had car loans longer than that! These beautiful, loyal, wonderful German shepherds sacrificed their lives and their murders get five lousy years in jail. Can you taste the bile?

After Fang's death the public cried "Enough!" There were online petitions, public rallies and lots of scathing FB posts. (BTW, I'm not sorry about those.) I can hear you now: "Kelley, this is horrible! Why did you title this post Good News for Florida K9s?"

This morning it was announced that a State senator filed a bill to increase the crime to a 2nd degree felony, tripling the prison time. This is a little less than the public execution that some of us were calling for, but it's definitely a step in the right direction.

BTW, the senator doing this Aaron Bean, representing my area. I sent him an email thanking him for supporting police K9s. I also said the following:

I read the verbiage for the Fang Memorial Bill. Just curious as to why you are changing "dog" to "canine"? It sounds pretentious. However, if you're going to do that, then why not change "horse" to "equine"? It would be more plausible for the government to utilize multiple members of the equine genus (i.e. horses, mules, donkeys) than of the canine genius (dogs, wolves, coyotes).

Am I wrong?

Anyway, if you live in Florida, I'm begging you to contact your state senator and ask him/her to support this bill. Don't know who your senator is? No problem! Click here and type in your address. You can send your senator an email from there! Please, take five minutes to make a difference for police K9s. Thanks, -- K

Coyotes and Yuppies

This pic was taken in a nice subdivision

A while back I promised to write this post when I could do it using "polite words." Well, I'm going to try, but I can't guarantee that an F-bomb or two won't slip in. Sorry in advance.

Coyotes

Coyotes have been in Florida for decades (some reports say as early as the 1920s). As more and more land was developed, the displaced coyotes adapted to urban life. About a year ago one or more of them moved into my jurisdiction -- and the residents are losing their [deleted F-bomb] minds.

I was asked to contact the FWC (Florida Wildlife Commission) along with various trappers to see what options the City had in dealing with the coyotes. Things I discovered are:

• Coyotes are present in 49 states (they can’t find their way to Hawaii yet) and all 67 Florida counties.
• The average coyote in Florida only weighs about 27 pounds.
• The territory size of an urban coyote is about 3 square miles – the same size as our small, beach town.
• Coyotes are opportunistic eaters. They have been known to eat rodents, rabbits, lizards, snakes, insects, deer fawns, small wild pigs, grasses, fruit, grains, fish, carrion and garbage.
• Coyotes play an important role in the ecosystem by helping to keep rodent populations under control. In an urban environment they also help control the populations of raccoons and feral cats.
• Coyotes are generally not a threat to people and are usually easily scared off.
• Coyotes are usually shy and elusive, but are occasionally spotted where food is readily available.
• Attractants such as small animals, pet food, garbage, bird seed and fallen fruit are common culprits that bring coyotes into communities.
• Coyotes breed once a year with 2-12 pups per litter, 6 being the average size.
• Coyotes will not be relocated. If a coyote is captured it must be euthanized.
• Removing coyotes from one area can result in coyotes moving in from surrounding areas and producing more pups per litter.
• Removal efforts have to be continuous or coyote populations will quickly return to their original size.

A resident set up a wildlife camera to see the coyote
traffic in her yard. Yep! It's a coyote.

I contacted several licensed coyote trappers and gave them a tour of the city, showing them where we had sightings. The best offer we got was $300/week per trap (because of the city’s layout, the trapper suggested 3-4) plus a $95 removal charge per coyote. There was no guarantee that a coyote would be caught or that residents would refrain from disturbing the traps. I also spoke with a biologist with FWC. She recommended that the City learn to peacefully coexist with the coyotes (like everybody else does).

The Powers That Be went with door number two. The University of Florida gave us hundreds of “Living with Urban Coyotes” brochures and FWC came out and did a coyote presentation for residents (complete with a stuffed and mounted coyote). For 18 months we’ve been telling people:

• DO NOT FEED COYOTES!
• Keep garbage cans sealed and eliminate other potential sources of food.
• Harvest fruit trees regularly. Pick up any fallen/rotten fruit.
• Maintained fence to help keep coyotes out of yards.
• Keep cats indoors.
• Dogs -- especially small dogs -- should be kept on a short leash and supervised while outdoors.
• Coyotes are most active from dusk until dawn. During those times be careful around wooded areas and places with lots brush which could hide coyotes.
• Use hazing techniques (yelling, throwing rocks, air horns, pepper spray, paintball guns, etc.) to scare the coyotes away as they see them.

This information is on the City's webpage, the City's FB page and was sent out with the water bills. Brochures are in City Hall and the Police Department. Despite all our efforts, I'm still getting angry calls about coyotes. Why?

Yuppies

Maybe "yuppie" isn't the best word. But I couldn't find a word for "Whiny citizen who has more dollars than sense and expects the government to fix all their problems because they pay taxes."

• I have citizens outraged because they've always had outside cats and don't think they should have to bring them inside then cite reasons like the cats' freedom and the smell of the litter box.
• Others are offended that they should have to change their walking routes or garbage routines. How dare we suggest they keep cans closed and not put them out until after dawn.
• I've been called heartless for telling people to stop free-feeding the cats and using the phrase "the circle of life" when investigating animal carcasses along the tree line.
• Some residents want the animals trapped and removed regardless of the cost. Others scream bloody murder if you even hint about using/raising tax dollars to pay for it.
• The local "animal lovers" want the coyotes relocated -- federal law be damned.
• The local know-it-alls argue publically with the experts over science and biology, citing ambiguous articles they read on the internet.
• And everybody yells at me, despite the fact that I have no influence on the decisions made by City, State and Federal leaders. Heck, they didn't even as my opinion!

I get it, people don't like change. But that doesn't mean it won't happen. The coyotes are here to stay. Residents are going to have to adapt. The sooner people accept it, the better. And if one more person calls me a [deleted F-bomb plus other obscenities] I'm going to snap! -- K

More Dog Park Drama

Picture from the condo's website
(I added the arrow)

We have a dog park in my small beach town, and it is a major pain in the butt. I've discussed some of the dog park drama and the lack of dog park etiquette in the past. Well, things have just gotten worse.

When the dog park was built 10 years ago, it was nestled behind some businesses and next to a wooded lot. Great care was taken to keep the dog park patrons away from the nearby church grounds. (Mostly) everybody was happy.

Two years ago the wooded lot was bought and razed. Then waaay too many expensive condos were built in its place. Many people were unhappy.


Condo layout from the site
(The dog park is clearly marked)

The condo developers jumped through hoops to work with the City. The pond in the dog park was enlarged to accommodate the construction. The developers removed the debris that the patrons fussed about. (The site used to be a dump.) The developers also redesigned the south end of the park, adding trees and attractive fencing as part of the deal.

People have been in the condos for about 6 months, and now we're getting complaints from the residents about barking, especially in the cooler early morning hours. Seriously!

The dog park doesn't officially open until 7:30 AM. However, the RFID key card reader lets people in anytime. Surely the IT department could fix that with a simple program update. NO! When I brought it up, you'd think I was asking them to cure cancer. Instead, I had to go in at 6 AM to handle the problem. I spent an hour and a half sitting at the park telling early birds to go get a cup of coffee and come back at 7:30. Most of them were annoyed but understanding.

Just wondering, why would people choose to live next to a dog park if they can't bear to hear dogs barking? I guess we'll call it job security. I've said it before, "Stupid people pay my mortgage." -- K

Choose The Dog!

Sometimes my job is frustrating. Last week I really wanted to slap the daylights out of a woman. The police asked me to come to a residence and look at a dog. The dog owner said the dog had been bleeding from his ear and nose. I looked at the dog. His eyes were bright, pupils even, nose clear, ears clean.

The conversation went something like this:

ME: I don't see any signs of trauma, but you should probably take him to the vet to be sure. What happened?

WOMAN: He kicked my dog.

ME: Who is "he"?

WOMAN: My boyfriend.

ME: Did you see him kick your dog?

WOMAN: No, but sometimes he get frustrated and kicks my dog.

ME: Why are you dating someone who kicks dogs?

WOMAN: How do I get him to stop?

ME: Have you tried "Dude, don't kick my effing dog?"

WOMAN: Yeah, but he doesn't listen.

ME: I'm not telling you how to live your life, but if a man kicked my dog, he would no longer be in my life.

WOMAN: I love him so much. I don't want to lose him.

ME: Your boyfriend?

WOMAN: No, my dog.

ME: What?!

WOMAN: He said it was him or the dog.

ME: And you're choosing the abusive one over the one who licks your face?

WOMAN: Yeah . . .

I wish I could say that I changed her mind. I didn't. I gave her my card. The police officers stayed and talked to her for a while longer. They didn't make any progress either. I don't know what to do.

So, here again, is Jedi's Public Service Announcement:

People suck. -- K

No Dead Animals on the Desk!

Some things shouldn't have to be said. I assumed "Don't leave dead animals on my desk" was one of those things.

I was wrong.

We have a police officer who insists on inserting herself in every situation possible. It's annoying. Last month I got a call from Officer Brown-Nose. She gleefully told me "I just got a phone call from my friend, Barbie Dahl. She's the wife of famous football player Ken Dahl." Officer Brown-Nose is also a name dropper.

(For the record, I've known the Dahls for years, long before Officer Brown-Nose joined the department. The Dahls keep letting their doodle run loose on the beach.)

Officer Brown-Nose continued, "Barbie is distraught. She has a cat that was hit by a car. She's such a sensitive person and it's tearing her up. I told her you could scan the cat for a microchip." BTW, it wasn't Barbie's cat. She found it along side the main road and took it home.

I agreed to scan for a chip. But instead of telling Barbie to call my office, or to stay home and Animal Control would bring the scanner to her, Officer Brown-Nose had Barbie meet us both at the police station.

(I don't know why Officer BN had to be there. I'm perfectly capable of scanning a flattened feline by myself. I guess that way Officer Brown-Nose could parade around her friendship. She spent the rest of the day asking everybody in the station "Did you see my friend Barbie Dahl in the lobby? Do you know who her husband is?")

After I hung up, I went to the kennel to pick up my scanner. On my way to the station I heard Officer Brown-Nose dispatched to a call. I arrived a couple minutes later to see Barbie in the lobby. Just Barbie. When I asked where the cat was, Barbie told me that Officer Brown-Nose took it with her. I then discovered that what she actually did was dump it in my office on her way out of the building. There on my desk was a bloody, stinking, most assuredly dead cat. No plastic bag. No box. Just the terminated tabby. Yeah, I was a little annoyed.

A real book. I gave it to my dad a few years ago. It's

pretty funny. Who knew we'd find use #102?

After finding a box, donning gloves and disinfecting my desk, I scanned the cat and found a microchip. However, I couldn't find an owner right away. Blubbering Barbie wanted to take the cat home to bury it. No shit. Since collecting kitty corpses in not my thing, I gave it to her -- box included!

I spend another 20 minutes researching various databases. (FYI, tracing a microchip is not an instantaneous thing.) I eventually found the owner. SURPRISE! The cat came back to a local newscaster. Officer Brown-Nose couldn't have been any happier when I told her. She tried not to grin when she said "Oh, you're so busy. I'll notify the owner for you." She was out the door before I could say "I've already called." I guess BN saw that dead cat as a way to befriend yet another local celebrity. Before you know it she'll telling everybody about her new friend, Anchor Ashleigh. Just remember, you heard it here first! -- K

Stupid People Pay My Mortgage

Sorry I've been absent lately. Between a lingering chest cold and Hurricane Irma, I haven't been able to form a cohesive thought. Don't worry though, the stupidity has continued. Here are a few head scratchers that surfaced during my absence.

This picture was posted on a Facebook GSD group with the follow question:

"I noticed a couple of these near the groin. I check him often enough for ticks, and I think I would've caught it. Any idea what it could be?"

When someone finally told the OP that it was a nipple, an argument ensued because this dog was male and "boys don't have nipples." Seriously!


Ms. Russo called again about her dog Bear. She said that her neighbor has a brown dog with yella eyes and a cropped tail. She knows it's her dog, but Bear won't look at her when she calls him "because he's just too traumatized." Ms. Russo thinks the neighbor stole her dog and cut his tail to "disguise the crime. That way people couldn't see the identifying white spot." Too bad she never got around to getting that identifying microchip.

However, Ms. Russo said she had a great idea for Animal Control. She thinks that we ought to use our kennel to house everybody’s animals when they evacuate for the hurricane. We could make the City some money! My partner nicely explained to her that if it's unsafe for people to stay at the beach during the storm, it's unsafe for their pets as well. He even explained the Pets Evacuation and Transportation Standards Act of 2006 (PETS Act) to her. What a nice guy. I probably would have said something like “Are you really that stupid? No wonder your dog ran away!”

You would be surprised by how many people called asking us to shelter their animals during the hurricane. Luckily my partner, Mr. Nice Guy, handled most of the calls. Unfortunately, I was on phone duty when Mr. Stevens called.

Mr. Stevens said that last year during Hurricane Matthew we took care of his cats and he wanted to know if he can leave the cats with us again this time. I told him NO! I reminded Mr. Stevens that the only reason we had his cats was because he refused to evacuate without them. The police took his cats so he would leave. The cats were put in the top cage with extra food, water and litter boxes. The police department was forced to evacuate the city as well, and his cats sat alone in a dark, damp cinderblock building for two days until we were allowed back over the bridge. It took another three days for power to be restored. When I reminded Mr. Stevens that I called him for ten days to pick up his cats and almost charged with abandonment he said “Oh yeah, I forgot about that.” I told him I didn’t forget, and suggested he start looking for a boarding kennel now.

I had a guy call last week. He said that his girlfriend lived in Oceanside, the new Habitat for Humanity housing. They had a small teacup pig being shipped to them the following day and wanted to make sure that our laws would allow it. I told him no. The only pigs allowed in our city are miniature Vietnamese pot bellied pigs, anything else is a $500 ticket. Pot bellied pigs must be vaccinated and registered with the City. He was shocked. He said “I’ve done my research, and these pigs don’t get above 30 pounds.” I told him that he needed to do more research. All our ordinances are online. Unless he had a bona fide, purebred miniature Vietnamese potbellied pig -- sus scrofa vittatus -- he was in violation.

The same guy called back three hours later and asked “What if we register the as an emotional support animal? The pig costs $1500!” (Did I mention they live in Habitat for Humanity housing?) I told him that I knew his neighbors. The moment one of them complained about the pig -- and we both know they will -- I was writing him a $500 ticket. And I would continue to write tickets until the pig was removed from the City. I strongly suggested he either

1. Move to a town that allowed pet pigs or
2. Get a dog from the Humane Society and spend the other $1450 on something more practical.

He said he could still get his money back. I told him I thought that was a better idea. But between you and me, I’m expecting a pig complaint by Christmas.

On a personal note, I took Hermione to the vet for grooming on a Saturday morning. The place was crowded. Hubby and I sat in a corner waiting for our turn. A man came in with a toddler and started leading his child around the room, saying things like "See the doggy?" and "Where's the kitty?" He actually found it amusing that his child was banging on roughly petting dogs and sticking fingers in cat carriers. I glared. When the little brat came over to "Look at the birdie" Hermione squawked so loudly that the child ran away. Good Girl! We got called into the exam room before I could chastise the father. But I did post this snarky comment on Facebook:

Dear people with small children,

The vet's office IS NOT a petting zoo. If you must bring your kids along, please contain them. These animals are sick and/or stressed. The last thing they want is to be harassed by your toddler.

Some things just shouldn't have to be said!

Some days -- OK, most days -- I wonder "What is wrong with people?!" On those days I remind myself that stupid people pay my mortgage, albeit indirectly. Think about it: if common sense was really that common, I would probably be out of a job -- and you wouldn't get all these fun stories. So, let's hear it for the idiots! -- K

OMG STOP!

I'm feeling grumpy this morning. Knowing this, I probably should have stayed off the internet. But I didn't, and now I feel a rant bubbling up inside. Lucky you!

I'm a member of several German shepherd groups on Facebook. Apparently, they'll let anybody join. Normally I just snicker at the comments of the dumb masses, but today . . . I just want to slap some sense into people. Instead, I'll share my sarcasm wisdom with you.

The breed name is shepherd -- with an E -- because these dogs were originally bred to herd sheep. If that is too difficult to remember, just look at the top of the page. Every group spells the breed correctly in the name of their group (i.e. German Shepherd Lovers). When you post about your "shepard" you look like an idiot and no one will take you seriously. And some of us will mock you on our blogs.

Quit prefacing posts with the phrase "no negative comments," especially if you're going to post about something controversial. If your ego is so fragile that you cannot handle somebody disagreeing with you, get off the internet. This is not a safe place.

Stop asking strangers on the internet for medical advice. If your dog is lethargic, bleeding, throwing up, has diarrhea or unusual swelling GO TO THE VET! Yes, they're expensive. But they're also necessary. It's your job to figure out to work veterinary care into your budget. That's part of being a responsible pet owner. And do you really trust someone who can't spell shepherd correctly to diagnose your sick dog online?

Quit asking people online to name your new puppy. Seriously, if you can't do something as basic as naming your own dog, you're not cut out for pet ownership. Just rehome the dog now before you screw it up. And while you're at it, go buy a box of condoms -- you're probably not cut out for parenthood either.

Why are you asking people if your dog is "pure"? If you wanted to ensure that you got a purebred dog, you would have gone to a reputable breeder and paid for a pedigree. Instead, you bought $100 dog off Craigslist. You get what you pay for. However, a paperless and/or mixed breed dog can still be a wonderful companion -- so please, just shut up and enjoy your dog.

By the same token, the word is purebred not "purebread." Also, horses -- not dogs -- are referred to as thoroughbred. And stop saying "full blooded." All dogs are full blooded -- dogs less than full of blood are usually dead. Please use the correct terminology. Otherwise, you're no better than the "shepard" people.

Quit minimizing bad behavior as "just being a shepherd." Killing small animals is not "just a strong prey drive." Biting your neighbors is not "just being protective." These are not normal, acceptable traits. Read the breed standard. German shepherds are supposed to be fearless and aloof but never hostile. The standard also states that:

"The dog must be approachable, quietly standing his ground and showing confidence and willingness to meet overtures without itself making them."

Asshole dogs makes things more difficult for the rest of us. Instead of making excuses, please train your dog.

CONFESSION TIME: In addition to being a Grammar Nazi, I think I'm a Dog Snob. (Lord, help my husband!) I'm not even 50 yet and I've turned into a cranky old lady. Well, this should make for some interesting blog posts. Stay tuned! -- K

Sarcasm Among Friends

I'm trying to convince myself to fork out

the money to buy this shirt

I admitted to you earlier that my life is crazy. I've also told you in the past that my job has its crazy moments. In fact, work stories are my most popular posts that don't involve Russians and poop. I swear I'm not making this stuff up! To prove it to you, I've cut and pasted texts and Facebook posts sent to my closest friends as things were happening. As usual, names have been redacted to protect my ass.

WARNING: Unedited Kelley contains profanity and heavy sarcasm. Sensitive people should leave now. I promise to be more civilized tomorrow. Maybe.

These were texted to an ACO friend:

This is what I came into this morning: Some idiot saw a raccoon in his yard “during the day.” Instead of shooing it away he decided to kill it with an axe. Blood spattered all over him and now he's freaking the fuck out. "OMG, What if it has rabies?" Dumbass. Plus, there's a dead sea turtle on the beach, feral cats are running amok at the condos and somehow a 12-year old got bit by a 3-legged dog. I've only been here three hours. Shoot me now!

My you're-not-going-to-believe-it story for today: I get a call about a dog running at large. When I get the dog, the complainant says the same dog has been out multiple times in the past 3-4 days. Before I can leave the scene, a woman drives up and says that it's her dog. And then she starts yelling at me for picking it up because she “would have gotten it eventually.” No shit! The kicker: she knows her fence is busted, but let's dog out anyway. She's really nasty too. I tell her that I'm citing her for RAL. First said she won't give me her license. Changes her mind when I told her no license, no dog; I won't release dog to anonymous people. Then she won't give me her local address (has an out-of-state license). So I call for an assist. [Redacted] shows up with his trainee. I write the ticket but woman wouldn't quit arguing. Then she says she isn't going to leave until PD does because she's afraid we're going to talk about her. She continues to argue. [Redacted] again tells her she should take her dog home. "No, I want to know what you're talking about.” So he says, “We can talk about the fact that your plates are expired, but I really think you should just go home.” She can’t take a hint and continues to argue! (And I'M the unreasonable bitch?!) So [redacted] asks for her license, registration and proof of insurance. When I left the scene she was receiving yet another ticket. Some people need to learn to shut. the. fuck. up.

The following were FB posts. It was a rough week.

Hubby posted this on Facebook and

tagged me. He wrote "I saw this and

immediately thought of my wife!

Those of you who actually know her,

know how true this!" Thanks Honey.

Dear Animal Lovers: Things die -- pelicans, turtles, raccoons, armadillos, squirrels, cats, etc. Sometimes they even die on the beach. It's OK. Yes, I know that there are children out there who might see them. They'll be fine. I promise you, many people have seen a dead animal and gone on to live happy, productive lives.

[Caller was worried that children might see a dead armadillo on the beach. I didn't tell him that as a child I used to poke dead squirrels with a stick. It might not have helped my argument.]

Dear Animal Lovers: Ducks are allowed to eat alongside a busy road. You don't have to call the police. P.S. True story!

[Caller wanted Animal Control to help the ducks cross the street. Yes, the dispatcher reminded Caller that ducks can fly. Caller was adamant and I was sent to the location anyway. Ducks, however, did not want assistance and were left alone.]

Dear Animal Lovers: It's not considered "rescue" if you take in a sick, emaciated dog only to dump it on Animal Control 24 hours later. The fact that your own dog is dog aggressive (and you knew it before hand) is just a lame excuse. BTW, if you had left the animal with the piece of shit owner and called us instead, we may have been able to file cruelty charges. You're not a "big-hearted rescuer," you're an enabler. P.S. Right now I hate Animal Planet. It gives too many stupid people delusions of grandeur.

[Idiot.]

Today's Public Service Announcement: It's hot outside. If you're taking your wife out for brunch, please leave your dogs at home. If you leave them in the car you WILL receive a $505 cruelty ticket. Yes, Animal Control works on Mothers Day.

[Guess who was a real mother on Mothers Day -- ME! BTW, it was 85 degrees outside and the dogs were wearing sweaters. Stupid UF Gator sweaters at that!]

I posted this picture on Facebook. (Seriously, who doesn't love Achmed the Dead Terrorist?) Anyway, under the picture I wrote "I'm in a particularly foul mood today. Please note that all emails and texts will be dripping with sarcasm. Also, if you see a fork in my hand make sure to cover your eyes. I swear, I'm going to fork somebody today!"

Some days I really hate my job. I feel like it's sucking the life out of me. But I ask myself, "Where would I go? What would I do?" Surely an office job wouldn't provide stories like this. And do I really want to be tied to a desk all day? Then I put on my big-girl panties and try to find the humor in things. As my father used to tell me:

Sometimes life gets to a point where all you can do is laugh or cry. You may as well laugh; crying will just mess up your makeup.

Hope you had a good chuckle at my expense. Later, - - K

Dog Park Drama

One of my duties as animal control officer is to patrol the dog park daily. Ours is a paid membership park and my presence deters non-members from hopping the fence. It makes the paying members feel better. I don't mind, I enjoy watching the dogs play. Sometimes I answer questions. More often than not, I just sit in an inconspicuous corner and observe. I've seen some pretty weird stuff at the dog park. I often want to ask patrons "What the hell are you thinking?" but I can't because it's not PC. Instead, I'm going to share my thoughts with you here -- where I can be as UNpolitically correct as I want.

Our dog park is probably about the size of a football field with a huge pond in the middle. The other day I watched a couple with a West Highland terrier try to leave the park for 45 minutes. Every time they would get near the dog it would run off. They tried coaxing it to the small dog area and then into the smaller, double gated entrance. The dog was too fast (or smart) for them and would escape every time. The only reason they're not still there is because the dog got bored and decided it was time to go home. I saw the whole thing. I didn't laugh (well, not out loud), but I didn't help them either. Nor did I ask them "Why the hell would you bring a dog to an off-leash park if you don't have a good recall?" Seriously people, the dog park is not a substitute for obedience training.

Everyone must sign a copy of the dog park rules when registering. In case people forget (or never read them in the first place) the rules are plainly displayed on a four foot square sign at the entrance. Two of the rules are "no food in the park" and "no children under 10." Last week I saw a preschooler running around the park with a bag of crackers, closely followed by four large, drooling dogs. A parent was nowhere in sight. Surprisingly, I didn't get a bite call -- this time. I wish I had been able to speak to the parent though. I would have asked "With all the kid-centric parks in the City, why the hell would you bring your kid here?" The dog park is not a substitute for spending quality time with your kids.

One of the crazier dog park patrons was the woman who brought both her labs to the park but only took one inside. The other was left in the car. The dog would bark and the owner would yell, but the dog stayed put. 10 minutes went by before the dog finally jumped out the window. This made the owner mad, so she came out of the park, yelled some more, put the dog back in the car and rolled up the windows! I stepped out of the truck when she tried to go back into the park. She said that the dog in the car had been acting up so he "was being punished." He had to sit in the car and watch his brother play. (Seriously! I'm not making this up!) When I tried to tell her "Ma'am you can't leave your dog in a hot car" she reminded me I was "just a stupid dog catcher" and not a dog trainer. (And this is why I can't have a Taser -- I would soooo use it.) I smiled and told her that actually I was an animal control officer and if she didn't remove her from the car immediately I would give her a $505 citation for animal cruelty. She packed up both dogs and drove off. From the stream of obscenities she threw my way, I can tell you that the dog park isn't a substitute for charm school either.

There are so many stories still left to write. I'm hesitant to share some of the weirder ones. I ask myself "Who is going to believe that?!" I promise they're true, I just change some of the identifying details to protect the innocent my ass. Sometimes I complain about my job, but for the most part it's not bad. Where else can you get paid to sit in a dog park and watch drama unfold? -- K

Real vs. Fake Service Dogs

Photo courtesy of St. Francis

German Shepherd Service Dogs

OK, time for another rant. There will be profanity and name calling. Sensitive people should leave now.

I'm on several GSD Facebook Groups. The other day someone talked about passing her dog off as a service dog so that she can take it into stores with her while running errands. The rest of the group blasted her -- and rightfully so. But Lying Lisa is not alone in her deception. It happens a lot more than you think.

• I know people who take their GSDs into restaurants and just let people "assume" the dogs are services dogs. (It's wrong. It's a lie by omission. I've spoken up and refuse to dine with them.)
• There are places on the internet where you can buy vests and ID cards to "Turn your dog into a service dog for only $59.95!" (I'm not going to tell you where. And if you go looking for them, I wish a pox upon you.)
• People think they can get out of an animal control ticket because "He's a service dog." Never mind that the dog can't provide any type of service while running on the beach 100 yards from the owner. Or that it's Mom's service dog, but Mom is a home right now. (True stories! BTW, those people got tickets AND civics lessons.)

I'm not going to mince words: People who pass off fake service dogs are selfish pieces of shit. And they make it harder for people who legitimately need a service animal. As an ACO I get training on Service Animals and the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) on a regular basis. I know that a person with a service dog can be asked two questions:

• "Is this a service animal?" and
• "What services does it provide?"

So when people say "I don't have to tell you!" I know that they are unfamiliar with the law and are probably lying. News flash: Service dogs are required to adhere to leash laws unless doing so hinders their ability to work.

Service animals DO NOT have to wear vests (though many do) nor are they required to have ID cards. So when people insist on showing me the dog's ID "as proof" I also suspect that they are lying. (They spent $59.95 for nothing!)

Unfortunately, the way the laws are currently written make it easy for someone to lie about a service animal. It's frustrating. Business owners are afraid to confront people because if they are wrong, they are "violating a person's civil rights." There are lawyers who specialize in this type of case. It's cheaper to err on the side of caution. I hear the frustration from the fed-up business owners and the general public. You may be surprised to know that the biggest complainers I meet are people with legitimate service dogs. Fakers hurt their reputations and weaken the acceptance of real service dogs. Let that sink in . . .

My personal opinion is that things will change eventually. I believe there will be some sort of official certification. (However, there will always be selfish POS dog owners who will try to skirt the system.) I have some good news for Florida residents: On July 1, 2015, registering fake service dogs became a crime. Law breakers can get a $500 fine and up to 60 days in jail. YEA!

I've also noticed that people assume that a "Service Dog," an "Emotional Support Dog" and a "Therapy Dog" are all the same thing. They're not. And rules are different for each of them. The people at Orvis developed the infographic below to help explain it better AND they gave me permission to share with you! Enjoy, learn, and -- most importantly -- don't be a selfish POS. -- K

Is That a Real Service Dog? Developed by Orvis.

Dumping Your Dog

One of the worst parts about being the German Shepherd Dog Club president is that my information is out there for the world to see. People find my email and phone number on the website and contact me about all sorts of things. Sometimes they contact me about dumping dogs. My heart breaks every time. For some reason, it's harder to deal with this as Club president than it is as animal control officer. Maybe because when I'm in uniform I expect it. (Wow, how cynical is that?)

I hear you screaming "What? Why? Who would do that?!" I've discovered that people dump their dogs for various reasons.

• Sometimes the dogs are the last of a litter. People contact the club hoping to find buyers here. Truth is, they're wasting their time. Dog club members get their dogs from two places: a reputable rescue or a reputable breeder. We are not going to buy a dog of questionable lineage from an unknown potential backyard breeder. (Yes, I know that sounds very arrogant.)
  
  
• Sometimes these dogs were impulse buys and owners are having buyer's remorse. Adorable puppies quickly become challenging adolescents. German Shepherds are a breed that needs plenty of exercise and mental stimulation. I've said many times, German shepherds aren't for everybody.
  
  
• Sometimes the dogs have health or behavioral issues that owners are unable or unwilling to deal with. Owners contact the club hoping to pass their problems on to somebody else.
  
  
• Sometimes housing situations change. Whether people are moving by choice or not, it can be difficult to find landlords and HOAs that allow large dogs or specifically German shepherds.
  
  
• And sometimes times, the owners' health changes. These are the most heartbreaking calls. Owners become ill or disabled and can't care for a large, active dog. Even worse, owners die and family members aren't able to take the dog.

I try to be non-judgmental and empathetic when people contact me about dumping their dogs. To be honest, I fail. In my head I call the dumper all kinds of obscenities. But then I take a deep breath and try to do what's best for everybody the dog. Here's some advice that I give to the dog dumpers that cross my path.

Call your breeder (if you have one). Your breeder put a lot of time and effort into creating that dog. She cares very much what happens to it. She probably has ideas and will most likely take the dog back. Also, this may be in your contract and failing to notify her could be a breech, making you subject to legal action.

Don't wait until the last minute. Doing what's best for the dog takes time. There is nothing more frustrating than people saying that they're moving and have to get rid of the dog by 5 PM. Very few GSD rescue/foster families or perfect-fit forever homes can be found in few hour window.

Don't make any rash decisions. Every dog owner has had a "If he does that one more time . . ." moment. Chewed items, potty training setbacks, barking or jumping combined with a stressful day can make anyone want to throw in the towel. Please, sleep on it. Remember why you got the dog in the first place. Chances are you'll feel better in the morning. Then there are the women (and it's always women) who call because they've been given a "me or the dog" ultimatum. I always ask "Are you sure you're making the right choice?" We both know she's not, but 80% of these women dump their dogs anyway.

Don't forget to look for other options. Bad things happen: people lose jobs, families get evicted, pets have to make a visit to the emergency vet. All of these can be devastating to an already strapped household. Crises make people feel that they have to get rid of the dog to survive. That's not always the case. There are groups and programs that will help with food, medical expenses or temporary boarding. A good shelter will be able to point you n the right direction. An overburdened, underfunded shelter will not. Since most shelters I know fall into the second category, I suggest you start a what-if list of resources now.

Don't think you're going to make your money back. Dogs are poor monetary investments. Regardless of what you paid for your dog, he's not going to have the fair market value that you want. It's best to expect to take a loss and focus on finding the right home for your dog instead.

Don't pass the problem on because you're uncomfortable making difficult decisions. It's too late for that. You promised your dog you would do what's best for him. That includes tough decisions. If your dog is sick, go to the vet. Yes, they're expensive, especially if you have a chronic problem. If your dog is a jerk, pay for a trainer. Intensive training can also be expensive, and time consuming. If your dog has severe medical or behavioral problems, the most humane thing may be euthanasia. Bindi's family had to make that choice. It's sucked, but it was the right thing to do.

Don't repeat your mistakes. Before you go out and get another dog, honestly assess what went wrong this time. Was it a lack of time? Money? Housing? Ability? Knowledge? Make sure you're prepared next time, and make sure you're getting a dog for the right reasons.

Don't beat yourself up too much. Sometimes, despite your best efforts, things go wrong. Sometimes a dog is just mentally unstable, or a bad fit for the family, or had a serious illness. Sometimes you suddenly have to care for an aging parent, battle cancer have to take a job across the country. If you've done everything possible and you still have to give up your pets, I'm truly sorry. I've been there and I know it hurts like crazy. Forgive yourself.

And if you do end up dropping your dog off at the shelter, go with a thick skin. Those who work there are most likely jaded and they will lump you in with all the jerks they've already dealt with. When I worked at the county shelter we took in 100+ animals a day. On a good day, we adopted out 20. Do the math. Even when you send everything you possibly can to rescues, there are still more coming in than going out. And when people are told "We are full, your animal will be euthanized" half of them just don't care. The excuses that come with the dogs are often frustrating. I've had people dump animals because:

• "The dark fur clashes with the new furniture."
• 'We're going on vacation and can't afford to board the pets."
• "The landlord saw the dog and now he wants a pet deposit."
• "We work 60 hours a week."
• "We're having a baby next month (and yes, we adopted the dog 2 months ago)."
• "I didn't think a lab mix would get this big."
• "Mom is coming to visit and she's allergic."

Yeah . . . So even if you have a real emergency situation, there are 100 people before you that have already ripped the heart out of that shelter worker -- and it's only Monday. Maybe this dark-humored video will help you understand. (The premise: What if people discarded family members at the shelter like unwanted pets?)

OK, enough of the ranting. I'm going to log off and have a good cry. Then I'm going to take my dog for a walk and/or open a bottle of wine. Why? I received yet another dump request this morning. That's three this month. Apparently Dump Season came early this year. -- K