Thursday, July 19, 2012

Missing Logan

It's been six weeks since we lost Logan. I miss him. He was such a gentle soul. He loved to lie in the yard and play with his squeaky toys. He loved to have his ears and belly rubbed. And he loved me. Yes, Pepper and Roxy loved me, but each was devoted to another family member. Not Logan, he was totally devoted to me. He always met me at the door when I came home and would silently follow me from room to room. If I was watching TV in the living room, he was on the floor at me feet. If I moved to the computer room, he would lie in the doorway. And if I moved to the bedroom to read, he would quietly appear next to the bed. Now the house feels a bit . . . off. Empty, for lack a better word. It's hard to explain. I guess I'm still in mourning. I was going through some old photos the other day and found this one of Logan and his squeaky.

He looks so vicious in this picture, which is really funny. In reality he was a big goofball and a bit of a wuss. Hubby called him "Ferdinand" after the children's story about the bull who wanted to sit in the field and smell the flowers.

I also found this picture of me and Eli: The Best Dog Ever, circa 1977. (Check out that outfit!)

Eli was a great dog, also totally devoted to me. We used to explore the neighborhood together. Just me and my dog. He participated in my make believe games without protest. He kept all my childhood secrets and comforted my childhood fears. Dad didn't allow dogs on the furniture, but once the house was quiet Eli would jump into bed with me. The last few years of his life Eli was too old and arthritic to make the climb so I'd grab a pillow and sleep on the floor with him. He died when I was in High School. I still have his collar. It's in a box somewhere. We stumble upon it every few years during a move or clutter overhaul. I'll cry and say I'm not ready to part with it yet, and Hubby will put it on a shelf somewhere. My kids will probably find it after I die. Logan's collar is still in the trunk of my car. I put it there when we left the vet's office. I can't bear to bring it in the house yet.

Wow, now I'm feeling weepy. Nostalgia has turned into melancholy. Sorry. I hope the next post is happier. Guess you'll just have to log in and find out. -- K

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