NOT an accurate portrayal of my job
Here in my small beach town being a damn good animal control officer just isn't enough. The job description includes "other duties as assigned" and my boss uses that to his full advantage. I am a State certified crossing guard, departmental "go for," catamaran counter, admin assistant, wannabe paralegal, webmaster and the Queen of Special Projects. I've even dressed up as a prostitute to do undercover vice stings -- don't ask, it was not pretty. The latest wild hair includes PR specialist and journalist. (And you thought I was just a dog catcher, huh?) I am now required to find and participate in community outreach events and write articles for the paper. If I do a good job my boss gets a feather in his cap (and all the credit of course); if I do a bad job I take all the blame and get a black mark on my annual eval that jeopardizes my chances for a raise. It's enough to make a girl a little bitter.
Several months ago -- in between dangerous dog cases, neighbor versus neighbor disputes, monthly stats, revising ordinances, and dogs running-at-large on the beach -- I was told to write another article for the paper. I decided to recycle something I had posted on my blog a year previously since only about five of you were reading it at the time (original post here). Its a good post, and I put a lot of thought into it. Yesterday I was told that it was submitted to the paper but the sergeant had tweaked it because it was too "harsh" and "aggressive." My use of the phrase "do not" was too "negative." (Obviously sarcasm isn't taught at the police academy.) I smiled and said okay like a good little minion, but inside my head I was screaming "Then write your own F***ing articles and I'll go do animal control stuff!"
Not an accurate photo of me
(but much cuter than the faux ho thing)
P.S. I am writing this on my phone while sitting in a park handing out Animal Control brochures and answering stupid questions. It's 85 degrees with 90 percent humidity. I'm sweating and I'm miserable. But I'm smiling! Yes, I'm a good little minion.
Summer is around the corner. It seems that more people add pets to their family this time of year than any other. Before you make that decision, however, here are nine good reasons not to get a pet.