WARNING: If you want to forgo the griping, please scroll to the photo now.
You're still here? OK, you were warned. Work has been a total pain in the butt lately! I don't know what it is about this time of year but . . . DAMN!! I've had back-to-back (to back-to-back) bite cases, barking complaints galore (but everybody wants to remain anonymous) and there seems to be a serious case of The Stupids going around. I think the collective IQ dropped right along with the temperature.
Below are actual issues I've dealt with in the past week. As usual, the stories are true but identifying facts have been changed to protect my butt. It may be a frustrating, low paying, no-respect earning job, but it's better than no job!
- Meathead took his 100 pound dog to the beach without a leash. After it attacked a leashed 10 pound dog (causing $5000+ in vet bills) he told the police officer yes, he knew about the leash law "but didn't think it was a big deal." He received $1200 in citations and the little dog owner has hired a lawyer. Turns out, it IS a big deal.
- Turtle-Phobe Phoebe (a regular) called to report "a large tortoise headed south" on her street. She was upset that I wouldn't drop everything to go get it (I was working on the above case), because "it might bite a child." I know that sounds crazy (she really is terrified of terrapins) and everybody else knows that a tortoise's main defense is his shell, not his tiny, toothless mouth. Even Jedi can't get bit by a tortoise and he really tried!
- I impounded a pair walkabout beagles for the 3rd time in a month. I took them home -- again -- and told the owner -- again -- that he needed to fix his fence before letting the dogs outside unsupervised. As I was writing him a ticket -- again -- he looked at me and said "I'm really getting tired of this." I said, "Yeah, me too. Fix. Your. Fence. Please."
- I picked up a 13 year old terrier on my pre-dawn patrol. It was 6:30 and he was headed for the main drag. When the owner retrieved the dog she was angry because "He always comes home. He just likes to greet everyone going to work. He's like the mayor of the neighborhood." I've met the Mayor -- yes, he lives in her neighborhood and he's an old son of a bitch -- but he's definitely not her dog.
- And just today a man who lives in a million dollar home was upset because he has to hire a pest control service to remove nuisance wildlife (armadillos) when my title is "Animal Control." He said "don't take this personally but . . ." and then spent five minutes bitching about inept city government and asking "What do my tax dollars pay for?" I nicely told him that 1) my tools, training and facilities are geared towards domesticated animals; 2) Wildlife specialists make three times what his tax dollars pay for; and 3) I did the math: His tax dollars pay less than $3 of my annual salary, including benefits . . . I think I took it personally after all.
Today's photo represents how my job is going at the moment:
Yep, my net isn't big enough for all the crap I've been dealing with lately! How's that for artistic interpretation? My middle school art teacher would be proud!
OK, I'm done whining. Why not start you week with a smile the way this hop was intended? Click around below and see what others are sharing today. A big thanks to Sandee over at Comedy Plus for hosting this (and allowing me a couple minutes to vent). -- K