Saturday, July 8, 2017

More From the Phone Log

I've shared stories from my phone log before. The calls that come in aren't always what you'd expect a "dog catcher" to deal with. And some of them are just funny. Like always, the stories are true -- as unbelievable as they may seem. However, I've omitted or changed identifying information to protect both my job and the idiots colorful residents who live here. So, if you think you see yourself on my blog be quiet. Nobody knows it's you. FYI: My notes are in purple italics.

Ms. Zimmerman called to complain that the cat from across the street keeps coming to her house. It's very skinny. The boy who lives there told her the was sick and his family was going to put the cat down on Saturday. "The vet said it was something with initials." (I asked FIV?FLV? She didn't know.) Ms. Zimmerman was worried that the cat was going to make her outside cats sick (but not worried enough to keep het cats inside). She picked up the neighbor's cat and said it was skin and bones. The cat freaked out when she tried to put in a box. She didn't want to be bitten and scratched so she let it go. (She didn't say why she wanted to put it in a box.) She wants Animal Control to come get it, and make her neighbors put the cat to sleep. Kelley's Notes: I called her back and said that we can't force the owners to euthanize their cat. However, we CAN enforce the leash law. Once we have the cat we can return to neighbor with a citation. I offered to give her a trap. She said she didn’t want to be bothered but insisted that “It’s friendly, you can just pick it up.” I told her that I didn’t want to be bitten or scratched either. She accepted the trap after all.

Not the exact house, but pretty damn close!
Mr. Williams stated that a stray dog had camped out at his beach house. He couldn't get it to move and wanted someone to come get it. Kelley's Notes: It was a beautiful house with an amazing view. I didn't want to leave either!

I got a call from the trailer park manager whose tenant moved out and left four cats behind. He wanted to "hook this chick up for abandoning her cats." Kelley's Notes: I wanted to hook up the cat owner too! Unfortunately, Chick didn't leave a forwarding address and her cell phone has been disconnected. Grrr . . .

A woman with a heavy southern accent left a message on my machine saying she wanted to "report animal cruelty on East Boardwalk." Kelley's Notes: I left message for the caller and asked her if she was looking for Tiny Beach Town, North Carolina. We don't have an East Boardwalk in Tiny Beach Town, Florida. However, we get calls from NC on a regular basis.

A local landlord called my office. She wanted to know “what to do about emotional support dogs” and how to spot a fraud. She stated that someone looking at her rental has a large, aggressive animal that he claims is an emotional support dog. Wannabe Renter told that Landlord had to allow the dog (despite her no pet policy) because “It’s the law.” Kelley's Notes: I suggested she contact a lawyer -- This is way outside my bailiwick. Unfortunately, fake service dogs have become a big problem. I even talked about it last year.

And here's a bonus from my FB page:
Dear Jerk With Attitude,
Don't send me a nasty email saying you "called 10 times and nothing was done" to fix your problem. I have caller ID. I KNOW you only called four times. And you never left a message stating what you need. I can fix a lot, but I can't fix stupid.
I'm sure you can figure this one out! And you can probably glean what kind of month I've been having. On top of this, I'm working an ugly cruelty case and trying to move into the new police building (yea!) after essentially working out of my truck for two years. Like I've said before, my job is never boring! Thankfully, blogging keeps me sane(ish). Thanks for following along! -- K

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