Awww...What?!

I have German shepherds. Contrary to what you may think, they're not all that hard to groom. I brush them about once a week (more during the spring and fall when they're blowing coat). I trim the long hairs between their pads so they don't slip on the linoleum. I trim nails, brush teeth and clean ears as needed. When they get stinky (every 4 to 6 weeks or so) I shampoo them in the backyard. Jedi has a lush undercoat so I will blow him out with a forced air dryer. Roxy hates the dryer, so she just gets rubbed down with a couple of towels and then air dries. Granted, it gets more involved when preparing for a show, but when you look at some of these other breeds German shepherds are really pretty simple. There is none of the stripping, clipping, shaving, plucking, picking or scissoring involved with other breeds. Needless to say, my grooming skills are pretty basic. So, imagine my surprise when I saw the extreme grooming competition at the AKC Eukanuba National Championship this weekend. (Please excuse the picture quality, we were in too much disbelief to check the camera settings.)

I think it's a dragon. Or maybe a swordfish. I know that the head is

hidden in the yellow somewhere.

I'm a Wolverine fan. I named my dog Logan, after the character.

This, however, is EXTREME Fangirl.

This burro-dog is the one that threw Hubby over the edge.

This Super Mario Bros. dog is the one that amazed my son.

As far as I could tell, that was all hair and dog-safe spray paint. So what are you think? Did they take it too far? Would you do that to your dog? Could you do that to your dog even if you wanted to? Seriously, anything more than brushing is too much for me. Lucky, lucky Jedi!

It's Awww...Monday! Want to start you week with a smile? Click around below and see what others are sharing today. A big thanks to Sandee over at Comedy Plus for hosting this hop. -- K

The Promise

I haven't been reading much lately. I don't know why, but I do know that I don't like it. Reading is a great way for me to decompress. (So why do I watch mindless television instead?) My mother sent the latest Robert Crais book to my Kindle saying she really liked it. (She sent me one of his books in the past and I reviewed it here.) The Promise ties in with the last book. The review on Amazon.com says:

Loyalty, commitment, and the fight for justice have always driven Elvis Cole and Joe Pike. If they make a promise, they keep it. Even if it could get them killed.

When Elvis Cole is secretly hired to find a grief-stricken mother, he's led to an ordinary house on a rainy night in Echo Park. Only the house isn't ordinary, and the people hiding inside are a desperate fugitive and a murderous criminal with his own dangerous secrets.

As helicopters swirl overhead, Scott and Maggie track the fugitive to this same house, coming face-to-face with Mr. Rollins, a killer who leaves behind a brutally murdered body and enough explosives to destroy the neighborhood. Scott is now the only person who can identify him, but Mr. Rollins has a rule: Never leave a witness alive.

For all of them, the night is only beginning.

Sworn to secrecy by his client, Elvis finds himself targeted by the police even as Mr. Rollins targets Maggie and Scott. As Mr. Rollins closes in for the kill, Elvis and Joe join forces with Scott and Maggie to follow a trail of lies where no one is who they claim -- and the very woman they promised to save might get them all killed.

I know -- OOOOH. So, what did I think?

First of all, it was a quick read. I found it engaging. I liked this story better than Suspect, even though the dog -- a German shepherd! -- plays a much smaller part in this one. Now that Jedi and I are doing nose work, I really liked how the story touched on Maggie's scent work skills. However, I've never known a dog to be trained in tracking people and find explosives (it's always been either/or) as the alerts are very different. Think about it: an excited dog who jumps on his bad guy target cannot behave the same way when he finds a bomb. Other than that, it was a nice escape.

How about you, have you read anything good lately? Please share! -- K

Downtown

Jedi and I explored downtown Jacksonville last weekend. It was a warm, windy, beautiful day. Not only was there a nice view, but many of the restaurants along the river front are dog friendly.

Along the St. Johns River. We have seven major bridges in Jacksonville.

The big, blue Main Street Bridge is behind us.

The city was named after Andrew Jackson. There is a statue downtown

commemorating our namesake. I have no idea where the wreath came from!

It's Wordless Wednesday! Click around below and see what others are sharing today. -- K

More Work Stories

It's been a while since I've shared some of the odd things that happen at work. Don't worry, my job hasn't suddenly become normal and/or boring, I just haven't gotten around to writing things down. As usual, names and other identifying facts have been changed or omitted to protect the innocent my butt. Enjoy the madness!

Not Snowball

Ms. Russo reported that her cat, Snowball, had been
stolen. The cat had been missing for 3 months, but she just saw it in a yard next to park. (The park is a half mile away.) When Ms. Russo told the family that the cat was hers they told her to leave and threatened to call the police. Then it got weird. My conversation with Ms. Russo went something like this:

Me: Is Snowball male or female?
Her: I don't know.
Me: How long have you had Snowball?
Her: About two years.
Me: Your vet will know Snowball's sex. Why don't you call the vet's office and ask them to look it up?
Her: I've never taken Snowball to the vet.
Me: Why not? You know cats need rabies vaccinations too, right?
Her: Oh, Snowball had that when we adopted him. Or her.
Me: Great. That information should be on your adoption paperwork. Go ahead look that up. I'll wait.
Her: I don't know where that paperwork is. [Followed by some lame excuse because she doesn't know that I know she's a hoarder.]
Me: How old is Snowball?
Her: About 2 years. We got Snowball as a tiny kitten.
Me: Where did you adopt Snowball?
Her: From the Humane Society.
Me: Great. They sterilize all animals before adoption. When you got Snowball was the belly shaved or was the back end shaved?
Her: I don't remember.
Me: [exasperated]: Let's move on. Was Snowball wearing a collar?
Her: No, but there's a microchip.
Me: Great. What's the microchip number? [BTW, that info would also be in the adoption paperwork or vet records.]
Her: I don't know. You'll have to call the chip company and find out.
Me: No, you need to call the microchip company. It's your cat!

Not Snowball either

At that point I told her to look for the adoption paperwork and call me in the morning. I went and talked to the other family, who were a bit more sane. They had found the white cat a few months previously. They honestly didn't know whether or not it was the Russo's cat. I examined the cat and scanned for a microchip; there wasn't one. The following day Ms. Russo called me. She had found the adoption paperwork after all. She had the microchip number and discovered that Snowball was a boy. Surprise! I told her that the cat in question was not hers. She didn't believe me, and accused the family of cutting out the microchip. I told her if they had done that, they also performed a sex change because the cat they had was a girl.

Definitely not Snowball

I've shared this one before. Still funny though! Dispatch relayed that a citizen had called 911 to report a pig running down Main street. The pig was wearing a harness and dragging a leash behind it. I went to the reported location and sure enough, there was a pig wearing a harness. I wasn't surprised either. Why? Because it was a Monday. Mondays are always weird.


My phone rang at 6:30 one morning. The Lieutenant asked me to come in right away. There was an "incident" and they wanted my opinion before the news showed up -- and Channel 4 was on the way. Ms. Jackson, a local CCL (Crazy Cat Lady), found a dead kitten on her porch. It had been partially skinned and there was blood everywhere. She said that "obviously this was a satanic ritual," so she called the local news -- before calling the police, of course. I arrived on scene and met with the detective who was diligently taking photographs and measurements. Even crazy people get the best of service in our town! Sure enough, there was a kitten on the porch just as described. The Lieutenant asked my professional opinion. I flipped the corpse over and in my best Colombo impersonation said "foxes, not freaks." Why?

• Ms. Jackson's property butted up against the nature preserve and I'd had several complaints about foxes recently.
• The jagged edges of the skin were torn, not cut by a knife.
• The soft, internal organs were missing. Predators often eat these first.
• The body was not laid out on display. Instead, it was crumpled up in a heap in the darkest corner of the property.

Ergo, no animal sacrifices at the beach! Ms. Jackson and the police department were relieved by my determination. The News, not so much. Bloodsuckers.

Made me think of poor old Poopmeister

I received a strange complaint via email. A resident on Coastal Drive was "putting shit piles on the sidewalk and covering them with chemicals harmful to pets and children." (My first thought was "don't let your kids lick the sidewalk" but . . . ) I called the complainant. He lives around the corner from Poopmeister. Complainer said that the "chemical" was mothballs and he was upset because the poop placement meant he either had to walk in the busy street or through the stinky poop/mothball combo on his way to Starbucks. I thanked him for the information. (Psst: I didn't really mean it.) Then I went to visit Poopmeister. His house was on the main road, situated between town center and an apartment complex. His well-manicured yard was about the size of my office. (Please note: I have a teeny tiny office.) When I got there I didn't see any feces, but it did smell strongly of mothballs. Apparently Poopmeister was tired of the neighborhood dogs using his lawn as a public toilet and he blew a gasket. The most recent pile -- which "was so huge it must have been from a great Dane!" -- was the final straw, causing him to grab the shovel and start flinging poo like an angry chimpanzee. (I didn't get a clear answer about the mothballs.) Once Poopmeister calmed down he cleaned up his mess. I empathized with Poopmeister and we came up with some more constructive ways to deal with his problem. I also told him that he needed to focus on the grand scheme of things; I'd hate for him to have an aneurysm over a pile of poop. (P.S. I also spoke with several neighbors. Apparently Poopmeister is a bit of an ass and people may be letting their dogs crap in his yard intentionally just to piss him off.)

And the award goes to Chloe's dumbass owner . . .

A woman brought in a stray dog she found near the freeway. Both the woman and the dog were from outside our jurisdiction and technically we shouldn't have accepted the dog. However, the county shelter was closed and we had space, so we said we'd transfer it to the proper shelter later if we couldn't locate an owner. My partner copied the woman's driver's license and took in the pittie mix. Partner scanned the dog and discovered that she had a chip! Partner called the microchip company and the chip wasn't registered. However, it did trace back to the county shelter. The county's records showed that the chip had been implanted in a tan pit bull mix that had been adopted several months back. By whom? The woman who "found" it. But wait: that's not the surprising part.

Unfortunately, people turn in their own pets and claimed they're strays all the time. No, the kicker was when my partner contacted the woman and told her to come get her dog or be charged with abandonment the woman had the audacity to say, "That's my dog? Oh my God! I thought 'Wow it looks like Chloe,' but Chloe ran away months ago. I wondered why the dog got into my car so easily. I can't believe it!" We didn't believe it either. Talk about a Poopmeister!

This job may not be glamorous or lucrative, but it is entertaining. Seriously, I can't make this stuff up. Until next time, -- K

It's Official . . .

. . . I AM a crazy dog person.

Trust me, I am just as shocked as you are. I've just been told that it's "weird" to buy a car for your dog.

WHAT!?

You see, my 2001 Kia is a sweet little no-frills car. Jedi fits nicely in the back seat for trips to the park or Sonic. But it's not big enough to carry his crate and all the paraphernalia needed for a dog show. Hubby has a Ford Expedition. All the dog show stuff fits nicely in there, but the Ford has nearly 200,000 miles on it and is becoming more and more temperamental. Hubby and I felt it was no longer reliable for long road trips, so we've been renting vehicles to do dog shows. That gets expensive.

The all new (to us) Jedi mobile!

About a month ago we found a used Chrysler Pacifica for an incredible price. It had low mileage and all the bells and whistles. Best of all, it was big enough to hold Jedi's crate and all his stuff. (We measured it before making an offer.) So I bought it. For the dog. Come to think of it, many of my major decisions have been made with the dogs in mind.

• I've gone to work sick so I could save my personal time for dog shows.
  
  
• I turned down a job and stayed in an unhappy one because it would take me away from my dog.
  
  
• I've bought furniture with my dogs in mind. You know, will it show hair? Is it easy to clean? Is the fabric dog nail resistant? (Is that weird? Or just being practical?)
  
  
• And while I'm being honest, I should confess that we're stuck in Florida because of a dog. When the Navy transferred us here from Maryland, the waiting list for base housing was 18 months. We couldn't find anyone who would rent to us with a 100+ pound Rottie mix. There was no way I was going to get rid of my dog (yes, someone suggested that!) so we bought a house. For the dog. The sad part is that shorty after we bought the house the market fell and the house was no longer worth what we paid. I'd love to move but we can't afford it. Pepper has been gone for six years and we're just now getting equity in the house.

I've been called a crazy dog lady. OK, I'll admit that I'm a dog person. I won't admit to "crazy." (BTW, I'm not saying I'm not crazy I'm just saying I won't admit to it. -- How's that for a double negative!) I don't regret the decisions I've made. I know people who buy vehicles that suit their hobbies, furniture that's kid-friendly and houses based on a job location. For me, dogs are family, included in my hobbies and a big part of my job. Maybe it's not so weird after all, right? Maybe it's the critics who are "weird" or "crazy." Or maybe they're cynophobic . . . And why am I even entertaining their opinions anyway?!

So how about you? Have you made any major purchases around your dogs? Please share (and prove those jerks wrong).

OK, enough thinking about what constitutes a crazy dog person and a conscientious dog owner. Why? Because it's Thoughtless Thursday! We're joining Ruckus the Eskie, M.K. Clinton and the pups over at Love is Being Owned by a Husky and all the folks below to share what thoughts are (or aren't) in our heads today. Take a look! -- K

Sweet!

Good thing it's Wordless Wednesday! I honestly don't know what to say about this picture. I don't even remember what I was thinking when I took it, other than "Please don't step in the cake. It looks yummy and I really want to eat it."

(BTW, Drogo did step in the cake -- and I ate it anyway. What can I say? I'm a sugar junkie.)

This is a hop. Click around below and see what others are sharing today. If you find anything stranger than a bearded dragon wearing a toque, please let me know! -- K

Awww...Naps

Thanksgiving is over. Despite the kids' crazy work schedules and our turkey fryer dying -- on Thanksgiving! -- we had a good holiday with family and friends. I truly am thankful. And tired. Too much turkey perhaps? Or maybe too much cooking, cleaning and running around. Regardless of the reason I have a solution -- and it's spelled N-A-P. I think I'm going to join Jedi on the couch before jumping into the holiday hubbub.

It's Awww...Monday, where a bunch of bloggers join Sandee from Comedy Plus to share things that make us say "Awww." For me that would be Jedi and/or an afternoon nap. (Seriously, who doesn't like naps?) Hop around below and see what others are sharing today. -- K