However, the lettering does make me stand out, especially when I'm eating lunch or at the grocery store after work. I don't know why, but when people see me they feel compelled to make stupid comments. I usually just give a weak smile, but what I want to say (dripping with sarcasm, of course) is "Oh Wow, I've never heard that before." What kind of things am I talking about?
- At least once a week some skeezy man says "I'm an animal, wanna control me?" Yuck.
- I'll walk into a business and someone calls out "[name] they're here for you."
- OR someone pushes someone else in my direction and says "Here you go."
- I'm asked constantly if I will take a person's husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend.
- Parents tell their children that if they don't behave I'm going to put them in the cage on the back of my truck. (Way to go Mom and Dad! Teach your kids to fear those who are supposed to help them.)
- I'm told I look "dog tired" entirely too often.
- When I'm chasing a dog in public some bystander always has to sing Who Let The Dogs Out. Obviously these people don't know the true meaning of the song. If they do, then I am highly offended!
- My truck is barked at daily when I'm patrolling the city
I know, groan. I assume that people are trying to be funny. (They're not.) Or maybe they think they're being clever. (Again, not.) Unfortunately, those trying to insult me are equally lame. I've heard:
- Wannabe Cop
- Rent-A-Cop
- Puppy Killer
- Dog Hater
- Dog Catcher
- Stupid
- Fat
- Bitch
- Dyke
- Barney Fife
- and Paul Blart
I want to scream "Is that the best that they can do?" Seriously, how disappointing. Several years back an ACO friend of mine in a neighboring city was the subject of a letter to the editor. The author said that my friend "emerged from the truck like John Wayne with bright pink lipstick." Now that's what I'm talking about! My friend was so impressed by the creativity that she framed the letter and hung it in her office.
Now THAT'S funny! |
It's Sepia Saturday! We're joining Ruckus the Eskie and the folks at Earl's World as we share our crazy lives with a soft brown tint. When you're through with my silliness, hop around below and see what others are sharing today. -- K
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