Sunday, September 4, 2016

SMH (Shaking My Head)

Not the squirrel in question
I've told you some of the strange calls that I've received. Sometimes I just shake my head in disbelief. Unfortunately, even police officers can come down with a case of the stupids from time to time. Today I'm sharing some of real situations where normally rational officers have called for back up from Animal Control.

A shift sergeant was flagged down by a citizen who had watched a fat squirrel dart across the road. The squirrel wasn't injured, but "appeared out of breath." The sergeant called on the radio and told me to go check on the squirrel and make sure it was OK. The squirrel was gone by the time I got there, but I still had to knock on doors (yes, really) and ask if anybody had seen a fat, freaked out squirrel. I was also told to check for a large stick that the passerby placed next to Supersized Squirrel for reference.

A woman found her cat with a rat in its mouth. When she tried to take the rat from the cat, the rat bit her. The officer in charge called me at home -- at midnight no less -- to ask what to do with the rat. I won't repeat what I told him!

One officer called me because a sparrow had flown into the dry cleaners while he was picking up his uniforms. I told him to prop open the door and I'd be there in a 5 minutes. Surprise! The sparrow flew out the same way it came in before I got there. So which one had the birdbrain that day?

Not the raccoon either -- same pose though
I was dispatched to assist the police in a neighboring city. They had a raccoon at the elementary school. I drove 20 minutes to discover that the raccoon was sleeping in a tree about 20 feet off the ground. The police didn't know what to do. The raccoon wasn't bothering anybody but they were afraid he might wake up and chase children (seriously!) so we spent the last hour of the school day watching a raccoon sleep "just in case . . ."

A rookie officer was concerned because a turtle was crossing the street between two ponds. I showed up, got out of my truck and moved the turtle. Problem solved!

I was dispatched to another neighboring town because there was a raccoon at the dentist's office on a cold February morning. (FYI: 50 degrees is cold in Florida.) I arrived on scene and saw two police officers guarding the parking lot. They said the raccoon lying on the blacktop was sick. I got out my catch pole and walked towards the raccoon. It jumped up and took off like Usain Bolt. I swear the raccoon gave me the finger as he ran up a tree. I asked the officers why they thought it was sick. The tall one said "He was just lying there in the sun." I asked "Like he was trying to get warm?" The other officer gave me a sheepish grin and said "Yeah, maybe . . ."

The reason I find these stories so funny is because the absurdity of the situation is contrary to the level-headedness that these guys normally possess. But they're human and susceptible to stupid moments like the rest of us. Fortunately, they all have good senses of humor too. I hope you had a good laugh at their expense.

Guess what my friends . . . it's Silly Sunday! Want some more silliness? Check out the posts below. A huge thanks to Sandee at Comedy Plus for putting this hop together every week. Later, -- K

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